dreaming on the clouds

last post.

2006-12-31T11:57:00.000-08:00

time flies. it's finally the last day of the year. and it's usually when all the families or friends come together to count down. =) i'll be with my family at raffles country club for dinner and then i'll meet my friends at city hall. wheee!!

ok. this is my last post for this blog. i'll summarise everything. haha.

family.
all these while, my mum and sister have been very supportive of me. they encourage me and at times, they respect my decision. however, at one period of time, mum didn't support me. i guess that was when she gave up on me. but, yeah. things are better now. relationship with daddy is still the same. i'm never close to him. and all we talk is about school work and that's all. my maid! haha. she is just like a family member to me. she's been with me for 16, going 17 years. haha. yaps. since i was 6 months old. that's explain why i'm so scare of her. and whatever i think of doing, she'll know it. she knows me better than my mum though. freaky. =x my relationship with sis is getting better, though there are times when she gets on my nerve. haha. =x

studies.
since primary, i've always been a lazy bum. i'm satisfied easily. i guess this point, i got to change. but, anyway, i became a little more hardworking when i came into MJR. haha. in sec 2, relatives love to compare me with my sis. and i was determined to prove them that i can do whatever my sis can. and i worked harder to get into triple science. when my end year results wasn't up to my expectation, i was really disappointed. but, it turns out that i manage to get into triple science. haha. i was struggling with my studies then. especially i was rather involve with both prefectorial board and choir. but i did my best to achieve the best i can. but, my entire sec 3 result, l1r5, was 29,28,27,29. haha. it sucks, i know. then came sec 4. i slacked alot. and i wasn't as hard working as sec 3. i was so looking forward for montage to be over so that i can really concentrate. however, even after montage, i wasn't working hard. my result didn't really improve much. l1r5, 29,35,23. hahas. and right now, i'm waiting for my Os result. i'm expecting the worse cause i didn't even put in all my effort. and i regret it. too bad, it's too late. haha.

friends.
i love my friends. cause they are always there for me. joanna, min min, hui kia, valerie, boon, feng yao, sheldon, tedja, jian zong(buddy) and yu ker are my sec 1 and sec 2 friends. i love them lots. feng yao and sheldon are always making me laugh. especially with their dirty jokes. haha. i remember during lessons, i'll always look at feng yao. haha. =x joanna is my best friend, also known as my les mate. haha. we often go for duty together. valerie is my mummy! always nagging at me to work hard and always teaching me. haha. then min min,hui kia and crystal would always hang out together whenever we go out. haha.
mae, silin(sotong), san, qy, sh, xl, buddy, pan sihui, yk, jordan, valerie, crystal, puay, boon, potato, eve, aunty, leonad, ah fat, glenn, tan teck(uncle santa) and many others then came into my life. haha. friends like them totally rock my world. even when lessons are boring, they made it interesting. haha. they made 4E rocks totally. haha. love you all. ^^
jc(angel), sy, alex, yu ren, avril, peiyi, heng yu, wee kiat, toh wee, kaiyi, teck kiang, sasa, leelin, cai ling, christine, jared, dum(ah boi), jared chong, bomba and many others are friends and seniors that taught me many things. and i totally love them. haha.
more new friends while working, yan wen, yvonne, ting hui, pui man, dylan, chan gap. haha. work will be boring without them. and dylan rocks! haha. yeah. he craps with me online. haha. and he sounds like an older brother to me. cool. =)
once in awhile, i have primary school friends contacting me. people like zhi hao, joshua, venron, aloysius, clarissa, serene, jun jun and ke xin. =)

relationship.
i'm not sure if i'm a horrible stead or that i'm just too young. haha. anyway, i had 2 failed relationships this year. but anyway, it's good to see that they will live better without me. hahas. cause there are much better girls out there. at least we're still friends. wish that you'll be happier with the next girl in your life and all the best. woots.

well well. time to pack up everything and close this blog. =) it's all over. and it'll all be history. =)

specially for angel: i remembered, when i first know you in mawaii camp, you look so dao and so damn quiet. quite scary though. then realise that you aren't actually the way you look. haha. after knowing you for a long time, then i know that you are so.... =x wheee. what a wonderful senior you are, who taught me many things. just like a brother, you comfort me whenever i was down. and gave me a pat when i needed encouragement. will never forget how you and sy consoled me when i cried in the prefect room after receving my chinese Os result early this year. will never forget the fun you brought along during camps like mawaii and obbd. will never forget how you crap with me whenever i was bored. especially during fahmy's lesson. haha! will never forget how you listen to me when i had many things bottled inside. haha. you treated me just like a real sister. ^^ you totally rock man! hahas.

done blogging.

-i'll learn to love this life of mine. wheee!!-

this blog was born on 26o62oo4 to 31122oo6

and brought to you by meh``

see the word "val"? hahas. was playing with my zi ma hu. =x

my meh meh manicure. =)

tata peeps``

god! ><

2006-12-31T00:03:00.000-08:00

30th dec. so fast. the year is coming to an end. haha.

woke up like 10 plus. i was freaking bored. so i picked up a storybook to read. after lunch, i was freaking sleepy, so i went to sleep. and my sis woke up me in a very abrupt way. "mei! someone talking to you online." then i faster wake up. reflex action. -.-" in the end, i couldn't sleep back. but i force myself. haha. and i slept till like 5. then i watch tv till 5.30 and went to prepare. and left house at 5.50.

went to pasir ris to fetch crystal. on my way, i bought bubble tea. i think the honey too sweet that it attracted alot of bees. =x then went to crystal's work place. haha. the young lady thought i come to take over her. cause i took over once. hah. anyway, i bought 3 pairs of earrings. then we went off. went to white sand. we bought 2 chocolates. we wanted 40g each. but the lady gave us 20g each. -.-" then i bought 2 pendants. haha. nice!

went to marina bay to meet xl, sotong, and ah fat. then took shuttle bus to the steamboat area. each of us got free can drink. haha. anyway, we started cooking. and xl pass me my bottle of nite. i was like, siao! how to finish? so i shared with ah fat. haha. they poured me a cup. and xl had hooch la. wah lao!! his hooch is like damn freaking nice!! whee. haha. nite wasn't that bad. it taste like lime soda. i drank like a few sips and my face was damn freaking red. and xl commented that it would be good if his daughter is like that. then he would know if she drank or not. o.0 hahas. crystal scold xl for buying. =x in the end, xl gave crystal my cup. and they don't let me drink. -.-" i was like damn high la. and i kept laughing. each time see ah fat's face, i laugh. haha. the more i laugh, the redder i get. -.-" hahas. crystal so scare to go toilet with me. =x oh well. went to eat ice cream. and my redness went down. haha. then went to play this picture hunt game at the bowling alley there. haha. we keep wanting to beat this old man. and nearly la. so we put our nick as old man's wife. haaha. =x after that, we took shuttle bus back to marina bay mrt. haha. then in the train, ah fat squeeze me, xl squeeze crystal. and we only sit like half of the seat la. -.-"

oh. i was msging angel. haha. i told him i drank and my face is red and don't know how to go home. he didn't really understand what i was typing. =x then i kid with him. i ask him to send me home. haha. ok ok. i'm too bored. ehs! i'm not drunk. i'm just.. red. ><

so here i am. haha. tml going to granny's birthday dinner then meeting them at city hall mrt. wheee! i miss hanging out with them. =) oh well. going to sleep soon. can't take it.

joke of the day:me and crystal were waiting for the train and raffles place. and crystal was sending herself songs from my phone. so i had this "music". many of my friends heard before. and dum was the one who sent me. so the beginning was like the "ar ar ar" sound. so it kinda give you the wrong idea. but it's actually this girl wanting to buy a bowl of noodles. anyway, she had to open the "music" so as to save it. that's how nokia phones work, right? so she opened and the thing was playing damn loudly la. we don't know how to mute it, so she had to off her phone. and we were laughing our heads off. so paiseh la. ><

done blogging.

-all i wanted to do was to forget all the unhappy things.-

whee.

2006-12-29T18:43:00.000-08:00

wow. third last day of the year 2006, and this will be the third last post for this blog. =) nope. you didn't read or see wrongly. yap. after the last post on 31st dec 2006, this blog, will no longer be in used. haha. i've made a new blog. and it will start on the 1st of 2007. if you want the address, take it from me. =)

ok. woke up like 9.30 a.m though i slept at 2 a.m this morning. i was watching tv. haha. anyway, crystal asked me to work, but i couldn't make it. was supposed to head down to mum's office to help her tonight. but, somehow, she didn't need any more help. so i stayed home.

i spent my entire morning looking for a nice blogskin. and i found one! wheee! haha. then i talked to angel for a while. then i helped him to look for a blogskin too. but seriously, i don't know what kind of pattern he likes. =S and i'm still looking until now. -.-" anyway, it was great talking to angel again. i don't know how long never talk to him le. haha.

i'm not sure if i'm as strong as what i think. but i know that deep down, inside me, i still long for you. and all that i want right this moment, is to be in your arms for the last time. but.. hahas. glad we still can be friends. =)

well well, tml is one of the final days before school reopen. i can't really complain, cause i have to think about those poor children who cannot afford to go to school. =x ok ok. i'll work hard this time, though it's only first three months. but i'll do all that i can to make this a wonderful experience. thus, i won't make the wrong decision. haha. =P ok ok. just stay tune to the other blog then you'll see if i'm enjoying my stay there k? haha. =x

done blogging.

-give me time, and i'll let go soon-

sian.

2006-12-28T19:02:00.000-08:00

slept at 12.30 a.m. and i was the last one to sleep again. >< then woke up at 10.30. haha. then i started checking how to go to school. and i realised i need to take mrt to bukit batok then take bus! gosh! means i have to wake up super early! cause i still need to meet xl. -.-"

my tuition teacher came at 11.30. then she talked to us. i told her that i was working at the exhibition for a period of time. and she said not bad. somehow, she and my mum asked me and my sister not to do waitress-ing or be sales person. apparently, she had a student(damn smart, 4 As and 1 B for A lvl), got pregnent. cause she met this guy while working as a waitress. then i was like damn shock. gosh! she went to a uni. but because of this ite guy, she dropped out. kinda stupid la. uni should have better guys, yet she choose an ite guy. and because of that, her future is ruin. gosh! ><

ok ok. went to bugis with sis, my maid and my tutor. she brought us to sakae to eat. then she brought us to swensen to eat earthquake. gosh! haha. ok ok. we met my cousin. so me, my sis and my cousin went to have our nails done. while my tutor and my maid went home. so yap. my nails are.... hmm. had a meh meh painted on both my thumbs. =x cool, huh? haha. then somehow, the things in my bag dropped. and now i lost my ring. -.-" i'm sad la!!! i love that ring, and now it's gone!!! ='(

guess who i saw? i saw this instructor that was helping out at the 3 day motivational camp. i remember his face! cause he was trying to send out a message to us. and so coincidently, i was sitting in front. so he asked my name. and then he say, "let's say, i'm a ugly guy, and i like valerie. and if i asked her to accept me (he asked me if i would accept him, and i shake my head.), and she rejects, i would just walked away and won't ask her ever again. but if i am a handsome and confident guy, and i like valerie. and if i asked her to accept me (he asked me again and i shook my head.), i would keep asking her.". and of course, he kept asking me la. like about 5 times. and yao, shouted "OII!!" from the back. that's funny. then the instructor got a shocked and pretended to be scare. haha. funny. gosh. suddenly miss hanging out with yao. =)

ok. here i am. home. tml will have to help mum at her office. =S maybe saturday night i'm going out with my classmates to eat steamboat. PLEASE DON'T LET IT RAIN!! =x sunday, i have dinner with my family. maybe after that i'll go countdown. that's provided someone asks me. hmms.

gosh! so fast school is starting. and i'm going to have problem waking up. SIAN!! worse! a new year is starting! and i'll be a year older in no time! =( i don't wanna grow. i wanna be just the way i am now. =x *sigh*

done blogging.

-i'm sad! my ring is gone~ ='( nicest ring, and it's gone! *poof* just like that!-

life.

2006-12-27T18:10:00.000-08:00

there was a blind girl who could not see the world and all she sees is darkness. she swear that if one day, she manages to see the world, she would marry her boyfriend, the guy who is willing to stand by her all these while. one day, some one donates a pair of eyes to her. she manages to see this colourful world and that faithful guy who stands by her. to her horror, he was blind. when he proposed to her, she rejected him. and before he left, he gave her a note, "take care of my eyes."
people no longer keep their promises when their status changed.

after reaing this story, i really realise that there are such people in this world. where by they break their promises when they become richer, or when their positions in the company is higher than before. or when one finds a better partner than the one they are with. now. this really sets you to think that maybe, promises are meant to be broken.

i was home this entire day. i read my old entries again. and realised that i did changed quite alot. i had friends who cared for me so much and always stood by my side when i was down. however, after getting into triple science, we started to grow further apart. and i guess, i'm starting to miss all these friends now. people like doggy and joanna. i will always remember how i met doggy and gave him his nick. while reading some of the entries, i realised that he was always there to cheer me up, care for me and made sure i was perfectly fine. whenever i was lonely, he would accompany me and he was kind enough to accompany me home when i'm alone. haha. i really miss those times. as for nana. ever since early last year, we grew more like stranger. i miss those times when we went out, look at guys, laugh at each other's jokes. how we share our problems and how we gang up to bully mr chan during hcl. i wonder if we could have those days back. hmms.

i spent some time sms-ing crystal. gosh. i really don't understand how can she tolerate how her bf treats her. if i ever have such a bf, i'll really dump him the very next minute. =x ok ok. sorry. i can't stand guys who mistreat their gf. >< i love talking to her. probably because we know each other for 4 years. haha. hmms. i told her about life and stuff. and she gave me some advices. but i guess, i'll be taking this risk for the last time. =)

i started deleting my inbox. some msg was dated all the way till like 1st december. and now it's already 27 dec. so you can imagine the number of sms in my inbox. haha. ok. i kept some and deleted the rest. as i delete them, some memories came into my mind. like xl's msg. haha. cause he had training that day and he can only come to work in the evening. so he msg me during work while on his way. another msg was his msg. i remembered asking a question and he answer me. haha. =x ok. the next was angel's msg. his good night msg was freaking funny la. about alex's sentence. "hao ren bei gou yao". haha. =x finally, sh's msg. how she crapped with me and stuff. of course, not forgetting all crystal's msg. =)

hmms. suddenly wondering what would happen on this new year's eve. suddenly wondering how would i spend my valentines' day next year. suddenly wondering if i would cry when results are released. and even if i cry, other than friends, who will be there to assure me that everything will be fine and that nothing much will change? suddenly, i'm wondering if i can ever learn to walk this path alone. suddenly, i'm wondering if i could keep my promise of waiting for you. cause i remembered that i once told you that i will wait for you no matter what. suddenly, i'm wondering why i don't mind getting hurt just to love you. suddenly, i'm wondering if i would ever have a chance to be back in your arms. suddenly, i'm wondering if you would love me the way you did on june 23. suddenly. i was wondering if would have a chance to be with you again. but i guess it didn't cross your mind that i'll always be right here, waiting for you, missing you, trying to hold you back, and always loving you. hmms. guess some things just happen for a reason, yet reason itself cannot be explained. haha. gosh. i'm thinking alot. *sigh*

nothing in this life is smooth sailing. there are times, when we are at the peak, and there are times, when we are in a pit. there are times, when we fall totally in love and thinking how wonderful and sweet life is. yet, there are times when we fall out of love and we'll start thinking how miserable life is and we'll start complaining we are sick of it. there are times, when we are satisfied with whatever we have in life. yet, there are times we'll be sitting at one corner complaining "if only i had that.." or "if i only i had done that...". there are times when good things happen on others, we'll start thinking "why him/her, not me?". yet when something bad happen on us, we'll start wondering "why does it have to be me?". probably this is life. when every single one of us experience feelings such as jealousy, envy, happiness, saddness, sweet, sour, bitter, regrets, so on and so for.

and i guess, this life of mine, set me thinking about this. life is all about choices. you choose who you want to be. you choose how you want to feel. you choose who you want to be. you choose to complain to or be satisfied. but yet, most of us, will tend to make the wrong choice. that's when jealousy, envious, saddness, bitter, regrets come about.

haha. don't ask me what'd gone into me. and don't ask me where did all those crappy entries go. i guess i've been thinking quite alot these days. HAHA! i know many will not agree with my entry. but this is my blog. so i wish you'll respect it if you want me to respect you. =)

done blogging.

-oopsy! the weirdo meh has just evolved. =P-

home!

2006-12-26T20:39:00.000-08:00

slept at 4.30 a.m to watch the dvd.

then me and sis woke up at 12.30. after lunch, me, sis and mum continue watching. haha. until now! whee. left 1 last disc. haha. =x

ok ok. this show kinda suits all those girls who are wishing that there will be a guy who would come into their lives and protect, love and care for them. so.. ya. haha. i wished there will be such a guy out there too. hahas. =x

some idiot msg me. asking me to do him a favor. kinda pissed off after reading the msg. but, in the end, i realised that it isn't my friend who send the msg. so i guess, it's useless getting angry. *sigh* then, aloy msg me. ask me if i can help to donate unwanted clothes. erms. hahas. =x crystal msg me too. i kept her accompanied for awhile. yaps. haha. buddy msg me too! haha. oh oh! he said i look nice without spects. geez. =x as for bro. hey! stay happy k? it's useless getting sad over a tree when there are other trees in the forest. =x ok ok. i'm just quoting what you said to me earlier this week. =x

ok ok. home tml. so i guess i'll try to finish my storybook. thursday, i'll be out with my tuition teacher. been so long since i lasted talk to her. guess it was like in june or july? somewhere there. i rmb i was out, and she called me. hahas. so i asked her out this thursday. =D hmms. probably saturday will go for steamboat with my classmates. sunday, should be alone at home to countdown ba. i'm not really expecting anyone to ask me out. haha. what's new? new year at home again. haha. OH OH! must jump! i rmb telling potato that jumpping on new year's day helps to grow slightly taller. haha. =x

ok ok. xl is home. and i guess we are all looking forward to MI. oh oh! i'll watch him drool during school hours soon. haha. ^^

done blogging.

-new year eve's plan will be??-

christmas

2006-12-25T18:25:00.000-08:00

shall elaborate on the entry earlier on in the day.

last night, everyone was offline except a few. jalat kor was online. haha. so i chatted with him from 9.30 p.m till like nearly 2. haha. i was bored. so he played msn games with me. we talked about many things. from friends, to relationships, to studies, to jc and poly, to craps. haha. kinda funny. anyway, kor was kind enough to keep me company till i log off. haha. thanks bro! you rock! hahas.

was suppose to wait for sis to come home so we can open the presents together. but, i couldn't stand it any longer. so i went to bed at about 2.

woke up at 12 in the afternoon. sis woke up 20 minutes later. we opened our presents. hahas. i receive lots of weirdo things this year. but, yeah. haha. after that, we watched GONG. i'm addicted to it. haha. cause that guy acting as YUL is like damn cute! lol. seriously, which girl won't want a guy who loves and care for you? and even if the person you liked treated you that badly, you won't mind. cause you love him/her for who he/she is. and you would have to love him/her for his/her good and bad points. right? haha. ok ok.

after that, we head off to vivo. GOSH! the last time i went there, vivo wasn't that crowded. but today, when i went, i wished i could get out of there. it's freaking crowded. haha. i wanted to treat my family to haagen daz ice cream. but mum ended up paying. =x oh well. haha. and we had a hard time finding it. we were nearly lost la. made one big round before we found it. haha.

guess who i met today? i met 2 of my primary school teacher. they didn't recognise me. cause they taught me when i was in P2. haha. i remember the male. i always see him. and i always recognise him. it reminds me of the time when he was angry. haha. when i was in P2, my entire class was making fun of him. and one of my classmate even ask him why does he look like a panda. yap! he has huge eye bags. awful! =x anyway, there was this day, when he came in. he was freaking angry, that he took the metre ruler and keep hitting on the table until it broke into small pieces. gosh! the next thing i know, he left school. haha. =x

hmm. i realise this christmas is slightly different from last year. haha. last year, i had to rush to finish my homeworks. this year, NO!! haha. cool. =D

ok. photo time.

me. i know i'm zi lian. but just tolerate. this is me!

this christmas tree at vivo. nice. it's pink! =x

me again! without spects.

me! with one of my favourite bear. FOREVER FRIENDS BEAR! cute! hahas.

oh! did i mention about what happened yesterday? ok. i went to make my new spects. and my mum asked if there was any spects suitable for me. and the guy went "erms. there are some spects on offer that suits kids like her." so i was like "kids? me? kid?". and he was like "erms. no. i meant teenagers.".. haha. damn funny. you should have seen his expression. =x ok.

hmm. next week is new year countdown. i wonder if anyone will ask me out. if not, i guess i'll be home alone again. =(

gosh! few more days to school reopen. haha. excited!! but results will be releasing soon. will you take off and go with me? hmms. gosh! another wishful thought. *smack my head* oh well.

done blogging.

-we are all the victim of love-

cool

2006-12-25T01:29:00.000-08:00

thanks bro! jalat kor kept me company through my lonely christmas eve night into christmas morning. not physcially, but technically.

hopefully today would be a better day.

done blogging.

-23 could have been half a year we are together.-

sigh

2006-12-24T23:13:00.000-08:00

today is christmas eve and it's a sunday. so both my parents are home. *yeepee* that's why i didn't dare to go out cause it's family day. haha.

i woke up at like 10 plus. oh! and i had another weird dream. seriously. i'm having lots of weird dream these days. i remember waking up with a weird phrase in mind. but i can't remember it now. gosh. >< oh well. i dreamt of someone(again). i know this person. erms. oh well.

i spent my entire day watching GONG with my family. dad slept half way through the show. so i doubt he knows what is going on. haha. we watched from 11 plus till like 5.30. haha. then mum quickly rush us to change and get ready to go for the family party. and the dinner starts at 5.30 la. haha. so we were like ~~god damn~~ late. haha.

reached there. everyone was playing with little baby. haha. yap. she brought lots of joy to everyone and brought most of our families closer together. haha. we hardly had all these kind of gathering till little girl was born. haha. =) ok. i'm really bad at carrying babies. and she is heavy la. i couldn't carry her cause she is heavy and she kept moving about. haha. today, was my first time eating log cake! haha. durian D24 log cake. lol. so happy!! ^^ haha. after that, we exchange christmas gifts. i receive quite alot. though not as much as baby. haha. even the maids give her things. where is mine?! haha. =x i'm not jealous la. =)

we took lots of family photos. haha. wheee! oh! there was this photo when baby shermaine(my niece's name), was pulling barry's hair. haha. damn cute! and whenever she pulls his hair, she would giggle. that was only the time when we see her smile. haha. funny. i think she likes pulling people's hair. haha. when susan's(kelly's,my eldest cousin,wife) friend came along with her son, they tried to let them play. in the end,shermaine tried to pull his shirt and pulled his hair. haha. everyone was laughing. kelly said he would have a hard time next time. he said shermaine wouldn be his little gangster. haha. cute! =x

we sent sis and my cousin to marine parade. then me, mum and my maid went to optical 88. haha. mum got her new spects and she asked me if i want to make new one. THANKS! i had a hard time picking what i really liked. so i ended up picking one purple one. it's nice. but i'm not exactly sure if it suits me. should be ready next friday or saturday. hopefully, i won't go there alone. =x

here i am. hope alone. sis went out with her friends to countdown. so did my cousin. and i'm all alone. like i said, another ordinary christmas. haha. what's new. i'm used to it. =)

pictures time!

that's me playing sh's phone while waiting for mae and the others to come. taken by sh using my phone.

sh's shoe and my shoe together. i find it very artistic. haha.

me! zi lian-ing again. haha. wei chang said it's a nice photo. =P

this is the SK jewellery christmas tree at bugis there. it's like so freaking nice la! =x

me again! zi lian-ing. haha. i like this green mango top. haha.

look like two glow-in-the-dark rings right? haha. i did a donation yesterday while at esplanade there. one stick for 1 buck. and i had 2 bucks to get rid off. so i donated that 2 bucks in exchange for this. love it. =)

my cute little darling shermaine. haha. love her. =)

my thrid zi lian pic. haha. just took it. some peeps always say i look nicer withot spect. haha. so i'll show you how freaking ugly i look without specks. =x

ok. done with my exhibit. haha.

i'll be going with my family to vivo tml. WHEEE!! haha.

done blogging.

-like another usual christmas. when will christmas ever be a great one?-

cool

2006-12-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

woke up like 8.30 by my sis. as promised, i accompanied her and my mum to the specialist. sis had to do a checkup cause she has frequent nose bleed these days. while me, i had to collect my medicine. you know how sian it is? to be on a life time medication? -.-" i'm getting sick of it. =x

went shopping around at taka and had branch at pepper lunch. the food isn't great and it's expensive. >< about 12.30, i left and met sh at borders. she was like in slippers and i was in heels. sians. why did my short heels break at this time?! hope new year faster come. and i can wear my new short heels again. haha. =x ok. she went shopping. and i bought new earrings. =x after that, we rest at this restaurant at cine for a soda fountain. it's nice. =) haha. after that, we walked around. we walked to paragon. and rest again at coffee club. god. i spent alot on food today. hmms. i had black forest cake and ice mocha and a cup of water. then me and sh talked about funny things. haha. after that, went to citylink. she went to buy christmas card for her dad. haha.

i walked to esplanade alone. reached there about 6.15. i was sitting alone(not exactly alone, i kept the ants companied. =x) at the bridge there. i love the scenery from there. haha. i had my earpieces plugged in and on my music loud. i looked at the sky and at the expressway opposite. many things went through my mind. i looked at every couple that walked pass me. oh! and i saw 2 brides. cool. =) one of the groom looked as if he cried. haha. =x ok. there was this foreigner couple that asked me to take a photo for them. gladly, i did. =) haha.

i spent my time quite wisely there. i thought about my life. haha. yeah, studies, relationship, friends, and family. haha. i kinda regretted not studying hard enough for Os. and seriously speaking, if i don't meet the mark, i don't mind retaking this Os. haha. i kinda had the urge to study, suddenly. i love the feeling when i passed my A maths. i love A maths, but sometimes i did so badly that i wished i can give up. but at times, i met my expectations and i'm really proud of it. it's great to have fahmy as A maths teacher. haha. friends. i'm really happy to say that i had many friends whom stood by me when i was feeling sad and constantly encouraging me. =) peeps like joanna, min min, eve, mae, sh, qy, PUAY!, potato and many others. without them, i guess i would have quit school at the age of 14. haha. =x as for family, i know i've let my parents down many times. and i'm always the one they are so worried about. i guess it's time i should stop all my nonsense and to show them that i'm "useful" afterall. haha. =x relationship. i guess i've got nothing to say about it. =)

met him at about 7 plus. i had cravings for beef fries. but the queue was freaking long and i guess, i had to give it a miss. haha. we walked to esplanade. and GOSH! it's really my honor to watched that school's choir. is it acjc? erms. one jc. ok ok. i really know nuts about music though most of my family member learnt music. haha. anyway, i love the way they sing. it's..... ok. the school's choir just left me speechless. MJR's choir can't even reach that standard. =x anyway, it's really an eye opening experience. and the soloist for that christmas song rocks! haha. ok. i miss choir. i miss singing. i miss being soprano. i miss performing on stage(though i have stage fright.). but i really miss being a part of choir. you caught me. hmm. but i know where i stand. come one. i'm only a subsitute during last year's syf competition. how far can i go with singing? haha. i guess not very far. haha. my wish now is to join christmas caroling. but. i guess in singapore, it's not a very IN thing. haha. talking about this, it's been a long time since i last stepped into music room. hmm.

oh well. i wanted to sit outside esplanade again. so we went out. he didn't talk much. and i didn't feel like talking. but i didn't mind. i just love sitting beside him and enjoy every moment of silence. hmm. he still didn't talk much. and i didn't dare to ask him what's in his mind. haha. ok. at least i saw his smile. =x and manage to hear his crap. haha. then walked to raffles mrt station. i kept very quiet. and i guess i made him feel bored. haha. oopsy. =x he took the train with me. but he alighted at kallang. before that, he gave me this weird look. -.-" haha. anyway, thanks for keeping me companied. =) wheee!! =x

done blogging.

^{i'll tell you what's up with my entry yesterday. ok. i've been missing you all these while. i miss all the times i go out with you. i miss having you by my side. i miss being in your arms and having you to tell me that you don't wanna let me go. but i know all those are memories and i guess it won't really bother to you how much i miss you. but i really hope i'll have a chance to give you an unforgetable birthday celebration. i don't dare to ask from you to give me another chance to be your girlfriend again. cause i feel you deserve a much better girl.
that night, i spent my night thinking about 24 november. it's really sweet of you to come orchard to meet me, to walk to somerset with me and wore button shirt when i asked you to, even though you were running a fever. forgive me for not being understanding. forgive me for not sparing a thought for you.
all these while, you stood by my side. you were being so supportive of my every decision and encourage me when i lose hope. you listened to my complaints whenever i was down. you gave me a pat on my back to assure me that i will be able to achieve what i wanted. and you held my hands to walk through each obstacle. never once you shout at me for being late for an hour. you never complain about me, even though i know i'm a horrible stead. hmm. you did things that maybe no one would have done for me.
i love you.}

-nothing special. just another ordinary christmas-

bored.

2006-12-22T19:04:00.000-08:00

i spent quite some time reading through my past entries. and many things went through my mind. haha. i guess, it's good to have stml afterall. =) i went to bed at 1. but i couldn't sleep. i still had some thoughts in my mind. i kept tossing and turning. but i just can't sleep. i stared into space. and as soon as i closed my eyes, tears just started rolling. gosh. >< then, i manage to sleep at only 2.30 a.m. -.-"

then came the weirdest dream i had! ok. i dreamt i had to retake my Os! [totally freak me out, cause my results aren't out and here i am dreaming that i hae to retake Os! what the heck?] ok. my parents didn't really scold me for retaking. and suddenly, i'm so close to my dad's side. erms. somehow, there's a guy that appear in my dreams. can't exactly remember what happened. but all i remembered was that this guy cheered me up when i was down and that he was the one that made me laugh when i was feeling sad. erms. weird la. -.-"

ok. woke up at 11 again. then i came online. no one talked to me, so i started writing my christmas cards. ok. many people will receive the card late i guess. haha. potato came to crap with me. then she had to go. so no one talked to me again. so i continued writing my cards. then dylan talked to me. haha. manage to finish writing all the cards by 4.30. then i went to post them.

came back. started reading my entries again. thank god! i didn't stick to writing that act cute language. *phew* if not, i really won't understand what i'm typing now. and i guess some of the readers will be disgusted at it too. haha.

suddenly, i have many weird thoughts. i'm wondering if i'll still have a chance to go out with you before school starts. i'm wondering if i'll ever have the chance to be in your arms again. i'm wondering if i can turn back time and to change myself into a girl that you want me to be. i'm wondering if i would have the chance to give you more good memories than bad ones. i'm wondering if i would ever have the chance to be lucky enough to celebrate your next birthday with you, cause i didn't have a chance this year. but.. i guess. maybe i won't be that lucky. oh well.

done blogging.

-christmas spirit is not in the air-

cool.

2006-12-21T19:37:00.000-08:00

another day out.

woke up like 11. cause it's really hot and the air con isn't on. *sigh* god! i'm always waking up at 11. and when 3 jan comes, how am i going to wake up at 6?! GOD! WHAT IF I'M LATE FOR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL?! sians. then again, there will be P.E! =S oh well. anyway, i rushed through 4 christmas cards and manage to send them today. so probably those 4 people will receive them tml, while the rest will receive, HOPEFULLY, saturday. =x

left house at 12.30. then me and sis went to eat beef chilli cheese fries at carles' junior. nice, i tell you. =) we shared, and manage to finish. after that, went 6th floor to meet barry, my second eldest cousin at mum's side. then we walked about and before we went into the theater, we met lynnette, my 3rd eldest cousin at mum's side. haha. i'm closer to mum's side rather than dad's side. cause i don't understand dialect and my chinese sucks now. so i am having a hard time communicating with them. as for mum's side, they speaks english and hardly utter chinese. haha. i remember my primary school teacher telling me, "i don't understand why your standard of english is so poor when you come from an english speaking family.". erms.. *shrugs*

oh well. my second time watching open season. and barry was laughing so loudly. =x haha. the movie is funny la. i love the rabbits. haha. and it's weird when they call me VALERIE instead of mei. GOSH! i feel so old. =(

after that, my sis, lynnette and me went far east. walked around and suddenly, some one called my name. and guess who it was? ong ying ying! haha. she changed quite alot. but still able to recognise her. haha. didn't really talked much. haha. we walked to wisma and bought famous amos. then came home. =)

receive a lovely christmas greetings from jun jun. GOD! i miss her. when is 6/8'o2 ever having a class gathering? i miss them!! hahas. the last time i went out with clarissa, we talked about everything under the sun, from results to schools to guys to family. and i really miss her. oh! her advice were great. haha. =) oh well. i'm glad jun didn't forget me! haha. she said she'll send me a card every year. guess it's going to be a habit. =) so love her!! *AHHH* haha.

my outing days are going to be over soon. in another 1 week time? say HELLO to MI~! haha. but yet, another part of me feel like slacking at home. and enjoy life of not studying. GOD! more tests! P.E!! oh no. =S XL!! GOTTA SAVE ME! haha. ok ok. he saved me while working during the exhibit. guess it's time to learn to walk this path alone. haha.

done blogging.

-sleepy-

=(

2006-12-20T21:27:00.000-08:00

i'm feeling ~~god damn~~ insulted. ><

ok ok. woke up 11.30 this morning, though the air con was off at 8. -.-" (does mum has to do that all the time due to the increase in electricity bills?) *sigh* after that, me and sis got up, slack awhile. then left for bugis after lunch.

went to bugis street for awhile, to get my crystal cover. sians. i got cheated. =( i got my screen protector done at tampines bus interchange for 8 bucks, and at bugis street, you can get it done and a crystal cover put on for 7 bucks! what the heck?! *argh* oh well. anyway, me and sis bought 3 crystal covers for 10 bucks. one for me, one for daddy and one for her friend. after that, we walked to shaw tower. GOD! she made me, ~~jay walk~~, jay run. In HEELS!! you know how scary that is? i might fall down. but anyway, i did it. and i was screaming while running. cause there was this car about to knock me down. -.-" and my beloved sister laughed at me. ><

we bought the tickets for sneak preview for NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM for 7.50 bucks per ticket. then walked around. i paid for the tickets and she paid for the popcorn. which was half the price of the total movie tickets. she cheat me again. >< haha. anyway, we went in early. haha. we took the couple seat. and GOD! i don't understand how would any couple enjoy sitting on that seat? ok. maybe they will, but i don't enjoy sitting with my sister on the couple seat. haha. she practically took 3/4 of the chair. =x oh well. but it's big enough for 2 people. =x DUH! if not why call couple seat? *smack my head* what am i talking? >< anyway, the show is funny. i love the dum dum. haha. DUM should watch it. haha. =x. "hey dum dum, where is my gum gum?". so hilarious. haha. i think the plot is cool. haha.

after that, me and sis walked to bugis. then she brought me to see the soo kee christmas tree. HELL NICE! haha. it's beautiful. i think is more beautiful than beautiful. =x ok ok. erms. we saw this manicure temp shop. 15 for 10 nails. for different patterns. and there is one meh meh pattern. coo! haha. i couldn't get it done yet, cause my broken nail has not grown. =( so i'll be going there with my sis next week. hopefully, it would have grown by then. oh. the guy asked if we were still studying. so i said i'm waiting for Os result and my sis said she is a NUS student. and he went, "OH! SO YOU BOTH ARE SISTERS?!(in a shocked manner.)". -.-" do i look so old that makes him think i'm her friend? or does she look young to look like my friend? *sigh* do i look old? ='(

after that, we went to buy sister's clothes and took bus 33 home. the journey was long. and i had my music on. =) i passed by my primary school and many memories came back to me. i missed those times when i was still young. when i knew nothing about love. when all that i know about love is a sweet thing and knew nothing about getting hurt. when everyday was a fun day for me. and i was always looking forward to a new day with new fun stuff. when the word "stress" was never in my dictionary. when "stead" was never heard before and "boyfriend" was a term used to name a friend who is a guy. when life was all about chasing each other around the field. when life was about gossipping about teachers and their lives. when PSLE was like a joke. when i hang around with my best friends. when i laugh and play with friends like zhi hao, joshua and aloysius. when i exchange letters with dayan(btw, i still keep them. lol.) those were the days. and almost everything changed. even people we knew, changed too. those young innocent people, has grown up to have a complicating life and that they were afraid of falling love again. lol. probably, this is just life. =)

just then, i was listening to "i do cherish you" song. by 98 degrees. quite long time ago. but it's nice. and so is the lyrics. one part kinda applies nicely to my life. =)

In my world, before you
I lived outside my emotions
Didn't know where I was going
'Till that day I found you
How you opened my life
To a new paradise

yap. just when i felt life was black and white, when emotions was ruling my world. and when i cried almost everyday and was on the verge of ending this life of mine, someone came into my life. i didn't find him, but he found me. he brought me out of the colourless life and taught me how to colour my life all over again. he taught me how to open my heart and he brought me to a whole new paradise. he made me fall for him like i have never loved anyone before. he made me realise that without him, i am nothing. he made me realise that i am able to stand strong after a fall. but little did he realise, i would rather be weak than to lose him. i once hesitated to tell people how much i loved him. but right now, i really don't mind telling this entire world that i love him that much and that deeply. but.. haha. all these doesn't matter now, does it? haha. don't think he would care anymore. don't think it would ever bother him how much i miss him. and it will no longer bother him how much i love him. =)

oh well.

i'll be out again tml. for another movie. =)

done blogging.

-i meant all that i said-

day out.

2006-12-19T20:17:00.000-08:00

it's really great to have someone, whom you love and love you, care so much for you. *sigh* i'm jealous now. =S

woke up like 11. then i got myself prepared cause sh said she'll be done by 12.05? so i quickly leave house and reach aljunied at 12.30 and guess what? i waited all the way till like 1?! oh well. i was freaking hungry. saw 2 groups of children. one group was the small girl was very naughty. she didn't listen to her mummy and nearly went beyond the yellow line. while the small boy listened to his mum. haha. the other group was, the small girl listen to the parents, while the boy was like freaking noisy. =x but they are all cute.^^ you know, the first small boy i saw keep looking at me. so whenever i make those funny faces, he laugh. haha. so cute. =P

anyway, went to long john silver for lunch. saw a group of ex MJR-ians, my batch. me and sh sat inside. so i went to order food. then when i came back, the one of them sat on my place, and ask me to sit at the other table. -.-!! sians. me and sh were like chatting about our previous job and other stuff. and GOD! that group was like freaking noisy. they were like laughing so loudly la. -.-" they won't embarrasse us, they just embarrassed themselves. haha. =x before me and sh left, one of the girl commented, "no other clothes to wear, have to wear class shirt." i was like "what the heck?!" cause one of the girls was sh's stead's ex stead. so i msg glenn(sh's stead).. i don't know what he is going to deal with her. but i can see he really cares for sh alot. sweet right? GOD!!! i'm jealous! haha. anywa, i don't think we should waste our breath on them, they are plain childish and i guess they are just jealous our class shirt has a brand(FBT) and theirs? brandless i guess. this is the only time i like brand k? cause i'm proud to be part of my class. =) AND FOR GOD SAKE! she's just jealous that sh has glenn to love and care for her, while she? NONE! haha. =x this is when the chinese phrase comes "chi bu dao pu tao, shuo pu tao suan." haha. =x ok. i'm evil.

went to arcade, sh pulled me. and she play this funny game to fa xie. and damn funny la. haha. anyway, after that, we sat at the cinema there. and there is this couple. sweet, i tell you. *sigh* hmm. went to watch holiday, before the movie, we finish half of the regular popcorn. so i went down to buy another one more. ok. the movie is great. kinda nice, funny and crappy. haha. i feel as if the entire theater is filled with people i know. cause we all laugh together and stuff. haha. quite cool. anyway, i nearly cried. for no reason. *shrugs* beats me. oh well. i love the part when all of them got together. sweet. =)

we went home after that. while i was walking home, i had the verge of doing something silly. but i didn't. i was afraid that i might sound really desperate on the phone. so i didn't. =x

done blogging.

-i know i'm in no rights to say this. i really miss you and i don't mind changing. but i guess it doesn't matter anymore.-

tired.

2006-12-18T18:35:00.000-08:00

could have slept about 12 a.m this morning. but i was waiting for crystal's msg.. wait until nearly 1 a.m!! >< sians. and don't know who use house number to call me. =x

ok. woke up by crystal(AGAIN!) at 8.30 a.m. she told me i can work from 9.30 to 3.30. so i quickly rush and prepared myself. it was really in a rush. i didn't even have proper time to eat my breakfast. =S but anyway, i reached there just in time. 9.30!! haha.

got this 3 aunties, about 50s, they were so facinated by the accessories. -.-" and they bought alot la. haha. they were like "jin sui(looks good, or something like that, you know my dialect sucks!)" and they just put into the basket. haha. but they are worse than youngsters. i recommend a long earrings and they said "tai chang le(too long.)". DOTS! haha. another lady was about in her 30s or 40s, and she only picked pearls. and i recommend one pearl earring and she went "TAI DA LE (too big)". DOTS! not long, then will be too big. *argh* oh well. i came across 3 other customers. one only pick red colours, one picked only orange and another only picked blue. -.-" weird people. they are worse then me! =x but anyway, the accessories are nice. =] should have bought a few for myself and one belt. so damn cheap!

i worked till like 4+, when crystal came to take over. then i went alone to TM. i took quite sometime to choose which handkerchief i should get for daddy. finally, i saw one that really caught my eyes. haha. ok ok. next time, whichever guy's birthday, i'll just get a handky. =x after that, i went to find cakes. couldn't find one that i like. at first, i hesitated to buy truffle. but in the end, i bought. haha. then, i came home. it was raining. i didn't bring umbrella. so i walked under the rain. haha.

i'm going out tml, wed and thursday. hopefully, friday got part time job again. kinda broke.

OH! guess what! i've got EAGLES award. i'm not sure why i'll get it. cause i didn't hold any position in choir and my position in the prefectorial board is quite low. but i still got it. weird. anyway, more money. so, not bad. =)

done blogging.

-you once said you'll walk in the rain with me. but in the end..-

tired.

2006-12-17T23:12:00.000-08:00

came back not long. =)

dad drove to marina bay there for steamboat. it's my sis and my idea of going there to eat. haha. so anyway, when we got there, we got a place under the shelther. haha. so we started to cook stuff. it rained half way. i was feeling damn freaking cold. =x haha. the guys sitting at the table beside us ate damn freaking alot. i think they ate more that the price they paid. so my sis asked me if this company actually made any profits. hahas. i guess they did. if not, the entire stretch won't be theirs. haha. after meal, we head back to the car under the rain. and i'm like so damn cold in the car. i was practically shivering. =( oh well. and now, i'm running a horrible flu!!

ok ok. here i am now. whee! christmas is coming. i guess nothing much would happen. i'll be home again with my parents while sis will be out having fun. what's new? *sigh* when has christmas been an exciting one? or when have i been looking forward to christmas? oh! other than opening of presents from mum's friends and my CHRISTMAS CARDS!! haha. i really love opening christmas cards. cause i'm always looking forward to reading those personal message that is written inside. haha. so that's why i love sending christmas cards too. ^^ wheee!!

god! i'll be stuck at home again. and sis friends are coming. what am i going to do?! ='( ok. hopefully i get a job tomorrow. *crossing my fingers* i'm praying hard. haha. i need money!

puay is leaving on thursday and i think potato is coming back on the 19!! *argh* i miss them. =)

done blogging.

-i'm looking forward to a whole new experience and challenge. =)-

bored.

2006-12-17T14:31:00.000-08:00

i'm so bored at home. i really can't wait to go out. ARGH!! i'm desperate for a job. if not, i can't wait for school to reopen. just let me do something!! ><

woke up like 11? cause i slept at 1, again!! ><

nothing to do today. hopefully tml can find job. anyone, wanna go out?! i'm freaking bored at home. if not, anyone got a job for me? =S darn. stuck at home for another 2 days or so. then wed going out with sis and thursday with mae and sh. wheee! bowling. ok ok. pray hard i don't start new game for the wrong lane. =x

ok ok.

done blogging.

-tired-

=(

2006-12-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

i woke up like 12!! wow! yeah. cause i slept at 2 a.m. *sigh*

then met dum at 12.30 to pass him the shirt. after that, 1, left for TM with mum to get sister's phone. from 1+ to 3 la! it's so freaking long. anyway, came back at 4.15. then i rushed out.

i went esplanade alone. yeah. A.L.O.N.E. so anyway, i took like quite long to reach there. suddenly, feel that the way there is so freaking long. >< oh well. i walked out of esplanade to the waters there. WOW. the feeling is so different. *sigh* many things went through my mind, as many couples walked past. it's weird how people can maintain their relatioship for as long as 2 years. and mine? guess i just have to surrender to reality that i'm SERIOUSLY a horrible stead.

^{in this relationship, i feel i'm a horrible stead. and that you expect me to change myself for you. ok. i don't mind. but what about you? are you willing to change yourself for me? have you ever asked what i didn't like? all this while, i feel that this relationship is all about your ex. what about me? do i even exist in your small little world? or do my existence only reminds you of your ex? but i guess it no longer matters. hmms.}

walked back to city hall control station alone. then went to meet sh and her stead. her stead left quite soon. then she told me, he thought i'm sad cause i see couples. -.-" ok ok. i went to collect my pay today. not alot. enough for a few more outings.

went to taka to get cake. then went back to esplanade with sh. then waited for qy, silin and mae. meanwhile, i was listening to my music. ~~sorry, i can't help thinking of those memories.~~ *sigh*. as soon as the rest joined us, things were getting better. miss them lots. oh, btw, HELLO MAE'S MOTHER!! *wave* yeah. heard from mae that she reads our blog. =x DON'T SCOLD HER AUNTIE. =) hahas. we put some cream on mae's face. we chatted for quite a while to update each other on our own work life. and thanks qy! for the chocolates!! haha. i'll grow fat!! hahas.

left early, to meet crystal. promised to send her home. so. yeah. i met her. and here i am, home. =)

hmms. i back to where i am. yeah. you are a great guy. you care so much for your stead and ever ready to give in. but still, things just didn't work out cause our interest and thinking clashes. thus, feelings is now a secondary piority. you done the best to prove me that you can be the best boyfriend in my life. you have given me the sweet days through this entire relationship. we managed to handle quite alot of situations. and lastly, you make me fall for you and love you like i have loved no one before. you gave me one of the most sweetest and best memory of my life. you've done all these. but too bad. 10 years from now, things will not be the way we want it to be. but still, you've given me all that you can. =) and thank you so much.

there's nothing much for me to say. i can't force you to come back to me, cause i'm not who you want me to be. no point pestering you to come back to me either. no matter how much i wanna hold on to you, i just can't. so i guess, i just have to learn to let you go.

so much for the ever lasting love story. so much for showing me forever. and so much for showing me what love is.

done blogging.

-the tears i shed will no longer mean anything to you. and all i can do now is just to watch and love you silently.-

sick

2006-12-15T20:30:00.000-08:00

~~i'm just stupid enough to believe everything you said. and stupid enough to think things might work out again. BUT I WAS SO GOD DAMN WRONG!~~

woke up like 10 a.m by my maid. all thanks to sh's call. lols. so i quickly wake up, checked classified for jobs, if any. then quickly rush out to meet her. we were supposed to catch the movie at 10.50 at suntec. by the time we reached there, it was past the time. so we walked to marina square to bowl. and saw 2 freaking perverts! damn unlucky. *sigh*.

how unlucky can i get? i broke my nail again! but i strike. like WHATEVER. it hurts la. then me and sh played for 5 rounds before crystal joined us. and guess what unlucky think happen? this time not to me. =x ok ok. we were supposed to have new game. so i didn't notice the mode was to the left lane, and i click new game. but i was on the right. so in the end, i helped the pro start new game. i had to apologise cause his score the previous time was like damn freaking nice. it's either strike or spare. and it was over 200. >< oops.

anyway, after 7 rounds, crystal left for her lessons, and me and sh went shopping. we went to paragon to ka jiao qy, sotong and xl. then walk to taka. bought some stuff and head to somerset to pick crystal up. then went home.

unlucky enough? ok ok. something else happen.

tml should be out again. i can't stay at home!

done blogging.

^{after the last time we quarrelled, i kept thinking of you. but each time i think of you, i told myself that no matter what, i need to get you out of my mind. i tried real hard, although i wasn't getting the result i wanted. all these while, i missed you, think of you and recalled every single moment we shared. i was wishing that things could be the same as before. then came yesterday, when things seemed to be the same. however, this happiness only last for awhile. i was stupid enough to think that things could be the same. i was wrong. from the time we went separate ways, you left me thinking and missing you. and today, you dashed all my hopes. treat me as an idiot, if you want to. yes, i'm just a bitch. since you think we aren't suitable, what for lift up my hopes? and then dashed it all over again? forget about the probation thingy, since you already know that we aren't suitable and that i will always be the same. what for continue to lift up my hopes to keep thinking that we might have a chance to be together again? don't tell me you love me if you don't even love me for who i am. please. i'm begging you. don't hurt me anymore. i had enough. and i can't take it anymore. ><
no matter what, i wish you all the best with the next girl that steps into your life. friends?}

-i'm saying this again: if love is all about letting go, then i'll let you. but i'll wait here silently. i won't force you to come back to me. but just don't hurt me time and time again.-

-i fighting back my tears. and i wanna stay strong-

pictures

2006-12-15T00:20:00.000-08:00

the sunset scenery when i was in the taxi, on my way to the hotel.

sis and her mud pie.

purple christmas tree with angels on it.

me and sis in front of hard rock cafe.

pretty hard rock cafe. haha.

me zilian-ing on my bed.

pretty pink angel in hard rock cafe. nice.

me zilian-ing at hotel's lobby mirror and sis joined me.

us! at chatuchak.=D

my maid, me, sis in our room.

sis and her SEXY necklace. haha

look at how busy chinatown is!!

what a weird pattern. the heels is so freaking high!

another weirdo pattern.

pretty looking chocolate at MBK. lols

my new top and new skirt. and i'll look like little back riding hood. haha.

a nice heel i wanted to buy. but i ended up buying another one.

me, my maid and sista.

this is a couple's shirt. and i meant girl and boy.

this is another couple's shirt. and i meant boy and boy. =x

pretty chrismtas tree. ^^ nice!

sis, me, mummy!

GOD!look at their roses! so damn nice!! where are my roses?!

me, in the airport. so damn nice!! i love their airport. =x

BIG BIG HERSEYS!! ooo!! i love it!! but quite ex. =(

nice bottle. limited edition k? hahas.

look who's that? random picture of a friend. =)

here are my pictures. if you wanna know my thailand trip, it's after this. =) take care readers.

thailand trip

2006-12-14T23:46:00.000-08:00

ok ok. only a few hours, and i'm blogging again. but now, different theme. now, is about thailand trip. many people are asking me how is it. so now, judge for yourself. ^^ erms. pictures another time k? =x

o9dec
left for the airport about 1.30 when the flight is about 3+. sh wanted to sent me off, but i didn't want her to come. haha. no one ever sent me off when i go overseas. so not use to it. =x so anyway, when mum and my maid went to check in, i called puay and him. puay is so cute. haha. ^^ so after 3.15, my dad and sis joined us. and 3.30 we went in. board the plane and flew to thailand. the journey there was boring. so anyway, arrived there, and we had a hard time communicating with the people. luckily, we manage to hire a taxi van. so cool. haha. reach the hotel, check in. pack everything and we head off to hard rock. we didn't know our way, and we were lost. >< so we tried to flag a cab. but guess what, not all taxi drivers know hard rock cafe. HARD ROCK CAFE IS SO FREAKING FAMOUS AND YOU DON'T KNOW?! i was like "how can they now know?".. so finally one of them know and we manage to have HRC! hahas. dinner cost a bomb! 2084 baht! haha. after that, took cab home. beofore going to bed, i msg 3 special people. haha.ok ok. first night, was quite alright. cause of the long journey and stuff, i manage to sleep well. and guess what? i dreamnt of puay!! GOD!! i'm not going to elaborate. =x oh! angel msg me. he wished me good night, and he said "as promise". haha. not all promises are meant to be broken. =)

1odec
woke up 8 a.m sing time, 7 a.m bk time. then got everything ready for the day and head off for breakfast. had french toast and some hot dogs. yummy. =x after that, we walked from our hotel to siam "mrt". then all the way to one station which is near chatuchak. i so love that place though it was hot and stuffy. but, guess what, the price is good and the things are cheap. =x i bought pants there. nice! bought many bags for like 4 bucks. you can't find them in sing, not even pasamalam. haha. half way, my maid couldn't take it, and daddy had to accompany her back to the hotel. -.-" god, she is worse than me. haha. i manage to stay there under the SUPER hot sun till like 4? then took cab back to the hotel again. and my daddy and maid just woke up from their afternoon naps. and what were we doing? shopping under the hot sun and they were sleeping in the nice air con room!! >< ok. that night, we went to patpong for dinner and shopping. haha. then went to walk around. and GOD!! their changing rooms? *DOT* what changing room? all they did was the give you a long skirt and you do the changing there. i was like -.-!! but oh well. i bought a jeans, a slipper and clutch bag! hahas. anyway, full of bars la. and all the guys were like looking into the bars, cause of the bar top dancing. -.-" anyway, was walking along the roads. when i heard a male voice. damn freaking deep. and all i saw was a lady talking on the phone. after she walked away, my sis told me she was aqua. >< took cab back. second night, had another weird dream. haha. this time, dreamt of angel. haha. slept the best this night. =)

11dec
woke up, 7.30a.m bk time. same thing for breakfast. after that, head off to chinatown. i swear i'm never going there again!! everything was whole sale and it is freaking squeezy la. hate that old lady who push me, step on my feet and still dare to "TSK" me so loudly!! what the heck. argh! after that, manage to squeeze though, and took cab back to hotel. rest awhile and went MBK. haha. did lots of shopping there. not on clothes but on food!! haha. yummy!! after that, went back. this night, it's horrible. i slept like only for awhile. i dreamt of ghost!! like that the heck!! argh! 3 a.m. receive ah boi's msg. he wished me good night. sweet huh. haha. angel wished me good night too. his msg damn funny.

12dec
last day in bk. and we spent it at platinium fashion shopping mall. and i tell you! it's good! haha. i bought like 5 shirts, many tops, and 1 shoes. haha. so nice to shop there. i really feel like a tai tai there. haha. only that dad was the one paying. haha. whee!! manage to change my wardobe. haha. ok ok. now, you'll see me wearing pants lesser. haha. anyway, we were carrying alot of things. so after that, went back to the hotel. rest awhile, went for dinner and went night market along pratunam centre. took many pictures and of course, bought many pins. haha. after that, head back to the hotel. when we were at the lobby, everyone where covering their noses and coughing. so i followed blindly. and finally, i ask the receptionist what happen. and guess what, the chilli powder package burst. -.-" dots. haha. this night, i slept the least. i couldn't sleep. >< sians.

13dec
woke up like 6+ bk time. and we rushed down to the airport. reach there by 8.30. and the check in counter not even open. -.-" dots. so many people were already queueing up la. haha. ok ok. the journey home was longer. haha. as soon as i reach sg, i msg puay and angel. then puay called me immediately. haha. shows how much she missed me. =x haha.

that's the end of the trip. =)

done blogging.

tired.

2006-12-14T19:40:00.000-08:00

i'm back!! home from outside. =x and i'm not in the mood to post a long entry. so i won't be posting an entry on thailand trip. i'm too lazy to do that. =x haha.

ok ok. couldn't really sleep well last night. but anyway, woke up at 9+ to check my posting. =x then slack awhile and left house about 12. and was able to reach orchard at 12.30 sharp! haha. i'm not late. =x

so anyway, went to many places. from paragon to wisma, to taka, to marina square, to esplanade and finally to raffles city, before i came home. lols. guess who i saw?! i saw dylan choo! haha. yeah. he was with a girl. i saw min hui too. and 2 other ex mjr-ians.

i was freaking sleepy though. but manage to keep myself awake. lunch was just ice lemon tea and tea break was sobert(lemon). the waitress, christina, is sweet. haha. i think they work base on commission. cause after she gave us the menu, she said "my name is christina, when you are ready, you can take your orders from me.". it was similar to what we said to the customers at the exhibition, after explaining to them the products and before they left. we always say "you can come back to me, (name), if you want to buy the computer. thank you.". lols. so that is my conclusion. haha.

i'm tired. and i'm still going out tml. =x i'm going bowling again. and this time, hopefully my nails won't break. =x hahas. i think i'll be going marina square then to somerset or maybe paragon to give xl a visit. see how everything goes ba. =x

wow. i didn't know so many people miss me while i'm not in singapore. but don't worry people, i miss you all too!! =D i bet puay miss me the most. haha. ok ok. i'm just being thick-skinned. fine! =x

done blogging.

-READ THIS: i want you back. and i want you badly.-

a new challenge

2006-12-14T10:13:00.000-08:00

WOOTS! just check my posting for first 3 months. =) i got into MI(Science). though to many, it ain't a good JC/MI, but i seriously don't care. every school has its own good and bad points. just like MJR and RI. which, obviously, i don't mind choosing MJR once again, if i have the choice. hahas. anyway, right now, i'm just looking forward to experience and of course to learn new things. yeahs!! haha. hopefully life will be better. especially with a change in environment. whee!! i'll get to know new friends!! ^^

wishlist for this very moment:
-to gain a whole new experience while in MI
-to meet new friends
-i get to wear back my school uni.
-lectures!! <3 <3
-may be a increase in my allowance? =x

things i don't want in my wishlist:
-damn. got P.E!! ><
-can't go out with friends, cause i'll be in school
-homework!! ><
-orientation
-fierce teachers.
-wake up early.
-long school hours

but peeps! even if i make new friends, i'll diffinitely not forget people who kept me company through boring lessons in sec 3 and 4. and peeps who encourage me all this while and of course, peeps who keep teaching me when i don't understand. finally, i'll not forget those i love!! haha. although i'll be meeting new friends, which include guys. haha!! =x ok ok. shan't bitch around, before i get smack. haha.

done blogging.

-i'll love this life of mine.-

back!

2006-12-13T23:37:00.000-08:00

*kiss singapore's ground* god! i so love singapore!

ok ok. i'm currently in singapore now. WOOHOO!! the air here is like so freaking fresh and smoke-free. =x hahas. and i'm so happy to be a singaporean. i swear i'm not going to be a quiter. and even if i am, i'm not going to run to malaysia, thailand or brunei. =x

i shan't really blog everything now. i'm rushing for time. going to sleep soon. =x

this trip is great. i manage to change my wardrobe with quite alot of skirts and tops. they are brandless and i seriously don't mind. =) i don't see the point of wasting so much of my money on branded goods, just to show that i can afford it or to show that i'm high class. oh well. this is my point of view. you may not agree. haha.

thailand rocks in some way. like the cheap clothes, shoes and bags. diffinitely not the traffic, the air and the curry. hahas. the clothes, shoes and bags are really cheap. and damn it! my 15 bucks shirt i bought at bugis street cost only 6 bucks in thailand!! like what the hell. >< i bought many tops. tops that i never like wearing last time. hahas. anyway, bought 1 more short heels for new year and slippers. bags, i bought a puma sling bag and LV-look alike bag. haha.

the air there is horrible. i came back feeling as though i smoke alot there. there is alot of air pollution and all the road side stalls smoke. damn horrible la!! >< oh. the traffic sucks too. and some taxi drivers really drive until so damn scary la. >< maybe sg should import some taxis for thailand. since our taxis seems to be the limiting transport vehicle. lol. and the curry is like so freaking spicy!! >< but at least, they are environmental friendly. =) love them for that.

hmms. have all sorts of weird dream over those nights. and i was always looking forward to day time. =x shopping spree!! haha. hopefully, i can sleep well tonight. hahas. puay, be honoured that i dreamt of that weirdo dream la. hahas. and angel, that dream was nice, it seem real though. hahas. third night was on a ghost. hahas. funny.

i'm going to gain weight in no time. bought many many food stuff. haha. =x

done blogging.

-what's in your mind, i won't know. but i'll wait for you to tell me personally-

p.s. pictures will be posted soon.

last post.

2006-12-08T20:49:00.000-08:00

ok. this is my last entry before i leave. =) whee!! miss me people!! cause i'll miss you all!! ^^

ok. woke up today. 9.30 sharp, the air con was off. AGAIN!!! ahh!! hahas. i couldn't find any breakfast. the bread was expired. so i skipped breakfast. then i had gastric. damn. >< so i lie in bed. haha. but when my maid and sis came back, i saw bread!! woots. so i had bread and peanut butter for breakfast. haha. =x

i packed all my stuff for the trip tml. and yeah. i'm all ready to go. haha. so anyway. about 3+, i went to orchard with my mum, sis and maid. of course, we went into taka. mum was looking for a briefcase for daddy. suddenly, i realise that being and mum, as well as a wife and a working lady, ain't easy. you have to look after the welfare of your husband, childen and have to handle the pressure in office. wow. i love my mummy. =)

after that, went walking around ngee ann city. mum brought us to coffee club. god. the royaltine looks delicious, but it just doesn't suit my taste. =x the chocolate milkshake wasn't that bad. haha. after that, went back to taka. mum was looking for something, so i went to look for puay. haha. i was looking at the lighters. and i saw one damn nice one!! haha. puay so funny. she keep listening to the sound when you open and close the lighter cover. haha. it feels good to see her!! i miss puay! haha. i tried looking for angel, but he wasn't there. so forget it. haha.

after buying everything, we took cab home. sis left to meet her friends. so anyway, we were queueing. and i saw this cockroach in sushi teh. -.-" god! so freaking alive can? why didn't they kill it?? eeew!! lol.

i started talking to mum about my friends. lol. quite funny. =x

hmm. i was wondering if you will msg me when i'm not in singapore. would you even tell me that you miss me? or am i too desperate for you? ><

done blogging.

-if you're reading this, tell me what exactly am i to you? i wanna know. please.-

ouch.

2006-12-07T18:53:00.000-08:00

i'm currently having problem typing. >< yeah.. my thumb is freaking pain. ='( no one help me sayang.. =(

ok. woke up about 10 plus today. wasn't in the mood of going out at first. but after coming online, i had no one to talk to other than crystal. and i predict that the day would be boring. so i decided, no matter what, must go out. haha. and finally, sh manage to persuade her mum. so yeah! i went out.

was the earliest to reach. so waited for the two ladies. when sh came, she was damn shock la. cause my skirt was freaking short. yeah. that will be first and last time i'm going to wear. i'm not use to wearing that skirt. haha. 34 bucks like that gone. =S then crystal came and we head off to marina square. was chatting in the train, when i receive a msg from jalat kor. he was in the same cabin as me. but i just didn't spot him. haha. oh well. he say i paste stamps on my eyes. but i think he is the one. blue and white also cannot differentiate. haha. =x

reach city hall, went U.R.S to disturb mins again. haha. love ka jiao-ing her. cause she rocks totally! ^^ so went to marina square. then saw cotton candy shop. me and crystal wanted to eat. so we agree to eat when we are going home. haha. oh well. we were all deciding where to go for lunch. crystal say we should go AZABUSABO! haha. damn cute name. haha. but, in the end we went to long john silver to eat. haha. i ordered for 3 combo 1s. and guess what, they gave me 2 combo 1s. and mine was 3 chickens. -.-" i wanted to change, but sh ask me to accept it. haha. ok lo.

after lunch, they pulled me to play bowling. i was like... =O duh! i don't know how to play bowling. i'm a noob. haha. anyway, after sometime, i got the hook of it. and i manage to bowl. although some times tio long ko. >< ok ok. i manage to strike once. haha. anyway, got once, i was about to bowl, and i drop the ball. -.-" and worse!! my nail broke!! WAH LAO!! i just cut it until so damn freaking short yesterday. and now, i break it! ='(

after bowling, went to buy our candy floss. 1.50 for a huge candy floss~~ haha. nice nice. yummy. =x on our way out of marina, our candy floss starts melting. so all of us threw it away. haha.

so here i am. back home. so bored and nothing to do. tml can't go out cause i've got to do last minute packing. and i'm expecting to have more blue blacks. haha. oh well.

hmms. i had the urge to know if you would miss me. doesn't matter as a friend or what. i just wanna know. and i asked. =) thanks for telling me the answer. so, would you tell me what's going through your mind? i wanna know, but i won't force you. yeah. tell me, will you? but i just wanna say that i won't do anything to prove how much i love you. and of course, i hope you will accept me for who i am, though i'll try to change to suit your lifestyle.

god. i'm talking too much. what for think so much when may be you won't even wanna get back. haha. ok. forget it.

ARGH!! i'm leaving le. and i don't feel like leaving this place. singapore is a wonderful place!! haha. where i've got a lovely bed of my own. my toys paradise. where i can sms like siao without worrying whether i need to pay overseas charge. haha.

ok ok. pictures time!!

meh (me)! and meh meh (stuff toy)!! haha. that is so cute!!

eeew!! my ugly bowling shoes. haha.

my broke thumb's nail. pain!! ='(

ok ok. i was working at singapore expo for 4 days for some computer exhibit. and one of the perm staff's friend came to find him after the work. so last night, i receive a weird friendster msg. god!! the perm staff's friend called me the lenovo girl and say we should meet some time. -.-" erm.. so i'm thinking that he got the wrong person. but at least, if he insists that i'm pretty, i won't reject. haha.

done blogging.

-i miss you. but it doesn't seem to matter anymore, does it?-

bored.

2006-12-06T21:13:00.000-08:00

my life is getting more and more dull each day. >< shouldn't have put all the dates over the last few weeks. now i'm bored at home~! -.-"

GOD~! finally wake up late! hahas. i woke up at 11.30 a.m. without having the air con off! woots! sleep until so nice! anyway, had roti prata for lunch. and i only ate 1.5 pieces. haha.

played Be Trapped! and Prime Suspect this entired afternoon. and i was so freaking bored. so i decided to watch disney channel. haha. after that, i packed my stuff for the trip. i know i'm clumsy. i dropped many things la. and i dropped the remote control on my feet. and immediate effect. i had a blue black. then i knock my knee on the piano, one blue black. -.-"

got myself a date with sh tml. yeah!! finally can go out. hahas. damn. i need someone who can go out with me everytime i need someone. =x ok ok. shan't be bad.

leaving on saturday. god. i don't feel like going thailand. suddenly, i wanna go malaysia and eat banana chips. or to australia to buy rock candies. >< just not thailand. =( oh well. now i'm not sure if i should bring top up card or my own sim card. hmm. i don't think anyone will msg me right? haha.

wow. so fast 4 years flew by. and from a thirteen year old girl to a sixteen year old girl. i'm not sure if people around me changed. but one thing for sure, i changed quite alot. hahas. i'm starting to be someone i've never like and someone i'm starting not to know. oh well. few things that never change, i still rely on friends alot. especially all my brothers and girlfriends. i still stay happy. one last thing, i know i love my family somehow. =)

blue blacks!

done blogging.

-i'm not who i used to be-

wow.

2006-12-05T23:44:00.000-08:00

9.30 sharp, the air con was turned off. wth. >< can't i sleep a little longer?! i slept like 12.30 a.m la. *argh*

ok. my plan for the day had some last minute changes. and it's always the case. regardless who i am going out with. and it's starting to get on my nerves. >< sians. oh well.

met sh about 11.15. then went to kelly sevices to help her bf register for the job application thingy. then we headed to marina square for movie. i dropped by guardian to by some plaster thingy. cause my heels was hurting my baby toe and the back of my leg. >< then i finally found U.R.S! hahas. i saw mins. and i called her phone. but no answer. so after buying my stuff, i went to find her. haha. and she was shocked. =P oh well.

went to marina square. bought to tickets before lunch. and i started to put on the plaster thingy. and guess what? i found a cut. damn freaking pain la. damn my shoes! hmph. it shows that being vain needs to pay a price. >< *sigh* went to mac for lunch. then went to watch open season. lols. god. damn cute. but i pity all the rabbits. lols. after that, went to walk around to look for sh's clutch bag. then went home.

after that, i went raffles club with my cousin, her parents, sis and granny. went there to celebrate my cousin's birthday in advance. lols. the food was... no comments. anyway, going back there to celebrate granny's birthday on 31st. maybe after that can go count down. haha. =x i love the white chocolate cake. WHITE CHOCOLATES ROCKS! hahas. then went to granny's house for a while and my other aunt sent us home.

hmms. seriously. i'm sick of living this life man. i don't wanna live in this world of guessing all the answers to all my doubts. just tell me what i wanna know! if not, just let me get over with this freaking issue and let me move on. damn it! why on earth this i make that stupid move? why on earth is my mind constantly thinking of you and every single memories. YES! it just starts flowing into my mind. and i hate thinking of it. cause i'm having a hard time facing the fact that you are no longer by my side. and facing the fact that i'm not strong enough to walk this freaking path alone. why on earth did you enter this freaking world of mine? why on earth do you have to be nearing perfection, thus making me insecure? why on earth is everything has to turn out differently from the way i want it? why?

DADDY. i can't take it any longer. ='(

done blogging.

-the cut hurts so badly and i can't take it anymore-

nice ending.

2006-12-04T23:39:00.000-08:00

as i was saying, i'll be going out with dum and jalat. yeahs. i met them at suntec. was suppose to be at city hall mrt station. but yet, those 2 guys made me walk to suntec ALONE! ='( lols. yeah. but i guess, i just got to learn to get use to being alone.

anyway, while on my way to suntec, feng yao called me. and i know he sould be around some where. so i looked. and i saw cornelius and i know fy got to be with him. and, true enough, fy was hiding behind him. lols. so we walked together to suntec. then i left and met dum and jalat. we walk to marina square to eat kfc. lols. we also started chatting. jalat really tempt me to go poly la. >< bad boy! lols. oh well. i've still got to base on my results right? hahas.

after dinner, they went to arcade. i sat there and watch dum play. lols. damn lame la. =x after that, i pulled them to pei me sit outside esplanade. yeah. i've been wanting to sit there for a long time. but i've always ended up in town. so. yeah. i decided to take this opportunity. this will be my last time sitting there, i guess. if not i won't be there for any other reasons in future. =)

ok. i bought candy floss and started eating. and the two elder guys ate my candy floss! hmph! in the end, i helped dum to buy pop corn. haha. and i bought popcorn too! haha. so we started talking. got this guy's pants so low, that can see his under garments. and dum keep laughing la. -.-" crap! someone started getting emo. anyway, i bought snapple, grapeade. and i commented that it smells like wine. so i let dum smell and that guy drank it instead of smelling it. -.-!! irritating. haha. oh well. i spent most of my time crapping with them and singing songs. "i do, cherish you, for the rest of my life.. " guess that lyrics will only be true in future. just not now.

while looking at the night scenery of the city, i just can't help wondering of the every moment of memories i had there. just when i was about to give something to you, everything was over. and i guess, there isn't any way to change things back to the way they were. hmm. i read the e-mail you sent me few months ago, again. every single thing you said just came back into my mind. oh well.

let me end this beautiful story with a perfect ending. =)

this scenery, i once shared with you.

guess who are those 2? the red one and the black one. haha.

that's me and my bro! dude, way to go! haha.

that's jared, the red one, who is sms-ing. who is he sms-ing? haha. the black one is dum. and the white one is rainer. he is working in suntec. and we met him at city hall mrt.

oh well. i believed, this ending should be a rather nice one.

done blogging.

-tell me, what is in your mind. i really wanna know.-

cool.

2006-12-04T13:36:00.000-08:00

i'm like so bored. ><

slept about 2 a.m. was crapping with dylan and lh. lol. i felt like a small little girl while talking to lh. lols. he sounded so father like. haha. what's new? =x ok. i told him i'm fine. and he insisted me to watch this youtube video on this hard gay. so crap. haha.

oh well. woke up by my maid today at 10. if not i could have slept a lot more longer!! i need sleep! haha. so i came online. and change my blogskin! haha.

i'm not really in a talking mood. i feel like keeping my mouth shut for the rest of today. but i realise it's just so hard to bottle everything inside. but i've got no choice. i really can't stand living this life any longer. it sucks! big time! ='(

i talked to crystal, yk, yusri and lh. i love talking to crystal. she maybe sad inside, but she always cheers you up. =) i should be going out with her this wed. and i'm going out with sh tml. and tonight with dum and jalat. yeahs. i won't be in singapore from 9-13 december. if anything, i should be bringing my top up card. can msg me. =) but i guess i won't be expecting any msg. =P

bored. =(

ok. let me post some pictures ever since school holiday officially starts. =)

me and potato was wondering why the sizes of the cups differ. then we realise, we order family combo. so the big one for the parents and the small one for the children. cool. =x

the 2 vales. we are like world apart, despite same names. so it proves that people with same name, may not have the same character. lol.

me and potato. love her! ^^

crystal, me and potato. lol. love them. and i miss going out with them. hope i won't lose contact with them. =)

that's me. lol. i think i was in a changing room at topshop. lols. =x

me and cutie crystal.

my left hand manicure. although they are in bad conditions now. lol

my right hand manicure. also in bad conditions.

me!! in a 15 bucks shirt that i bought from bugis village. damn cute! i fell for it at first sight. lols

me and potato in the changing room. in a puma shirt. she bought while i wear for fun. lols. =X

me and crystal at a class bbq. she ought to be honoured. cause she was the only one i took with. lols. i was lazy to take photo that day. =x

my big boss! he damn funny. lols. "you don't have my picture, you don't get your pay." lols.

carlie! lols. he rocks. he was the one who keep helping all of us to close the deals, while he didn't get any. and he is friendly! haha. every time i say "morning carlie." and he'll go "morning angel.". lols. wow. i'm angel! woohoo!

ok. i'm done with all the postings. hopefully i'll have more to share with you. =)

done blogging.

-my nick says it all. yes. i cried for a guy i love so deeply. but i don't think he even cares.-

tired.

2006-12-04T00:55:00.000-08:00

i'm alone in the living room again! hahas.

just got home not long ago. and i realise this work rocks in some way. =) but promotion for computer stuff is definitely not my forte. lols. cause i don't even know my products. =x and it sucks big time when i have to keep asking charlie about the laptops. =(

i manage to sell 2 today. cause i was promoting to this 2 men. and they said they'll come back later. i didn't have much hope. until i was attending to one customer and they called my name. and i was so happy! charlie rocks totally. he attended to all the doubts of the customer and wow! they bought 2! ^^ happy.

after dinner. most of us slacken. so i got to know more people! ok. there are 4 sec 3s. jing xian, chan gap, pui man and ting hui. then 4 sec 5s. yvonne, yan wen, yousri and neilson. 4 sec 4s. me, sh, xl and another guy. 3 uni students. daniel, dylan and another girl. they are all friendly people. and it feels good working with them. cause when you have no customer to serve, they chat with you, crap with you. oh! and today is chan gap's bday! happy birthday small boy! and ting hui's birthday is coming soon. woohoo! yousri rocks! he is always crapping with me and he is always talking to me. haha. and god! jing xian looks and talks like that irritating EUGENE CHONG! forever picking on me! hmph!

back home. home sweet home. my legs aren't that pain le. =) currently talking to dylan and chan gap. dylan is from sim! used to be from cjc and duman high. but he doesn't know my cousin. lols. oh well. he said i don't look like i'm from mjr. cause i've got the interllectual, jc look. wow! haha. ok ok. maybe that will motivate me to move towards jc. lols. as for chan gap. keep calling me the sec 2. -.-"

oh well. tml going out with jalat and dum. and hopefully i can go somewhere else alone before i meet them. =)

i guess. in life, we just got to grab hold of the opportunity before it's over. and i guess, i missed mine. oh well. i can't regret now. it's probably too late. but i really wish i can turn back time. hmms.

done blogging.

-tell me what is in your mind.-

P.S. my relative don't recognise me. -.-"

wow.

2006-12-02T23:08:00.000-08:00

wow. business for me sucks today. ><

me and sh reached the earliest today. though today was without xl. lols. she manage to sell 2, while i sell none. so i earned only on my basic pay. lols. oh well. i started slacking when it was about 4+. when xl came to keep me company. cool. he rock. hahas. oh well. he tried giving me his customers. but i think i look scary. i scared them off. =(

got to know more friends. there are many sec 3s. jing xian, chang gap, and some others. lols. when chang gap told me his name, i was laughing my head off. so cool. got one GAP word. hahas. his chinese name is nice. lol. there are 3 uni students. one of them that i kept talking to is from SIM. 4 sec 5s. and only few sec 4s. and god! they thought i was only sec 2. HELLO!! do i look like one, or do i act like one? -.-" tell me it's none!! >< lols. i think chang gap and jing xian are friendly people. hahas. we were all crowding around one corner and chatting when our big boss chase us and we dispersed. lols. yvonne thought me and xl are one couple. OMG! hahas. he is my sister!!! crap!

was on my way home. and the uni guy and chang gap said good bye. HAHA. so great to meet new friends. =) for the first few days, we were like total stranger. until today, i finally talk to them. hahas. oh ya. kept noticing this acer guy. somehow, he reminds me of dum. lols. ok. only shorter and more beng. HE HAS 2 PIERCING ON THIS LEFT EAR! so damn gross!! =X

hmm. saying i don't miss you, is a lie. but i guess, i'm really afraid of falling in love again. time, is all i need. this cut, may never heal. i force my heart to stop beating for the one i truly love. please, don't tell me forever love exist. cause it will never happen. forever, doesn't exist. this never ending love story of you and me, seems to end long time ago. telling people i can live without you is also a lie. but what can i do? i just got to learn to be strong.

done blogging.

-i'll rather cry alone in one corner than to feel the pain all over again-

tired.

2006-12-02T00:02:00.000-08:00

11.43 p.m. just got home from class bbq.

today. took half day. no business today. lol. oh well. got to try my luck tml.=( hopefully i'll get another few more. hahas. puay called me today. she's so nice. hahas. she called me to ask me if i'm free on monday and tuesday. not that she is asking me to go out. but she got me a part time job. so i told her, i'm on. =D new job. hahas. ^^

bbq wasn't as interesting as i thought it would be. cause the very last minute, many people decided not to come. and many of us were rather emo emo. oh well. just realise that 2 years of not blading cause me alot of harm. i couldn't blade now. and i sucks at it! TOTALLY! >< the worse thing was, i grab on to fish's hand as she ran. and i lost control and i fell down. ouch! my butt hurts alot. ='( but i didn't cry! hahas. i've grown up. if it was like last time, i would have cried. hahas. had our happy hour. but, i'm like the worst drinker among all. i drank damn little. hahas. and they kept it away from me. felt sleep for some moment. just like the way i was when i drank that stupid "grape juice". lols. funny. i sat at the beach with eve. love talking to her. but! i think i catch a cold. i'm currently running a flu. =x then went to look for puay and jordan. sat beside jordan and he told me got a lot of crickets and i started screaming. i'm like so scare can?? >< and guess what? i stood beside a rat and i didn't know. until puay and fish told me. -.-"think my sensory organs and damage la. lols.

i'm not sure what was in my mind today. i'm curious about what is in your mind. cause it seems that you can have a life without me. =) no matter what your decision is, i respect it. =)

i'm tired. better sleep early. i've got work tml!! damn. and sunday! 4 more meals and packed food. can't stand it! >< wonder what is for lunch on monday and tuesday. hahas. =)

done blogging.

God!

2006-12-01T09:07:00.000-08:00

so fast it's 1st dec. another 1 month, i might be in a new place and new environment. =) cool. wanna count down to a new year. wheee!! ^^

woke up like 8 in the morning. rush to do everything. then went to meet xl and sh at tanah merah. so freaking crowded la. >< then went to singapore expo. had our breakfast and went to look for big boss.

we had briefing and then start work. in the morning, my job was like just giving out the brochure. i got no one to promote to or anything. so i spent me entire time giving out brochure. it was till afternoon when this 2 foreigner was interested in the products. so i intro them the cheapest of all. they seem so interested. i was so happy cause i might close this deal. but damn it. they cheated my feelings. they say they'll come back later. in the end, they didn't even come back la. cheat me! >< oh well. i closed a deal with this family. the father likes IBM products. so after introducing them to the cheapest, they sounded very keen. again, "we'll come back later." but hey hey! they did come back. and i rushed up to them and told them that the price drop. so maybe we can negotiate. =) i got my big boss to talk to them until the price was acceptable for them. and *snap*. i close my deal. they even thought of increasing my commission. hahas. so kind. =)

9+. the exhibition was gonna close. i tried to give out all the brochure in my hands. and then suddenly, some one poke me on my waist. i thought it was like one of my friends. then all of a sudden, one guy pop out and say "can i have a brochure please?" so damn fast la. so i gave it to him lo. -.-" who is that freaking idiot who poke me!?

came home with one part of my leg swollen. ><

my collegues are friendly people. except that some guys are shy and some guys are like so freaking tall. -.-" how the heck did they grow so tall? ><

today, i've taken half day!! hahas. so at least, if i didn't sell anything, i still got 10 bucks. lols. and i'm praying hard this class bbq will bring everyone closer together and bring out the joy and laughter!! Daddy,please let me see the stars and let me realise what i want in life. =)

done blogging.

crystal, cheer up k?

P.s. my own cousin couldn't recognise me. and his gf look at me as if i'm a third party. -.-"

-i'm all out of love. i'm so lost without you.-

great!

2006-11-29T21:54:00.000-08:00

Daddy is kind. and i love Him. =)

went out with eve, jordan and bro. cause i was freaking bored at home, i pulled bro and eve. and bro pulled jordan. hahas. watch happy feet again. i'm fated with it. =) it's cute i tell you!! baby gloria!! hahas. EEW!! SO CUTE!! ok ok. i was laughing my head off like some mad lady la. cause it's cute. and when bro jerked when the seal pop out of the water to eat happy feet. and how scare eve was when the whales came along. hahas. interesting. =)

came home slightly later than what i told mum and maid, and i've got an earful from my maid. GOD! she sounds as if she is going to be a naggy mummy next time. =x thank God she isn't my mummy. hahas.

was about to bathe, when i receive a phone call from an unknown number. so i answer. lols. GOT MY JOB!! hahas. i was so happy that i jump up and down. mum was saying the pay is very low and not worth it. so i told her that i am working for experience. at least it is a step to gain knowledge about the working world. =) hahas. tml got training. my work place is at SINGAPORE EXPO! time from 11 p.m to 9 p.m.. please support me!! lols.

i'm going to movies with sis!! wow! been so long since i last went to movies with her. hehes. =)

yaps. although in some ways, life doesn't seem right. but i guess, i just have to look on the bright side. =) hopefully, life will be better.

Daddy, i love You!

done blogging.

-i'll live on this earth for as long as i can and make every single second of it fruitful-

P.S. laughing and being happy is the best way to stop yourself from thinking of unhappy moments or being sad. =) <3 puay!

bored.

2006-11-29T21:45:00.000-08:00

i was expecting no more memorising of stuff after Os. and now, i've got lots to do! >< lols. well. at least, i hope it will be fun. lols. =)

i just pulled xl to work with me and sh. and to think of it, i'm afraid of meeting chinese speaking customers. i mean, i'm having a hard time speaking chim chim chinese. ><

i guess, after this event, i'll be looking forward to a new school term! provided i get in, that is. hahas. get to meet new friends and gain a whole new experience of JC life. or well, MI life. lols. but of course, i won't forget my secondary friends. definitely not puay!! she is my listener! hahas. =P <3 puay!

hmms. seriously. i don't think it matter anymore. cause you don't even seem to care. i guess it was only a silly crush. and it'll be over soon. so, i'll wish you all the best in finding someone that really suits you. =)

i guess, i'm no longer who i am. no one knows if i cried. no one knows if i am sad. no one knows when i'm lying. cause this world is all about hiding who you truly are. and now, i'm not sure who i am. guess i'm just a girl with no more feelings. =) oh well.

done blogging.

-i no longer trust love anymore. this heart, has long stop beating-

tired.

2006-11-29T16:24:00.000-08:00

woke up like 8.30 when i was suppose to be up an hour ago? lols. then quickly prepare myself and met sh at 9.15.

walk to funan. and guess what, none of the shops are open! so we sat outside the shop and chatted. then the big boss came. lols. he rocks! hahas. he is funny. lol. anyway, it wasn't much of a training. but just to tell us which models we are selling and the free gifts and the special features. PEOPLE! it is LENOVO AKA IBM. thanks. please support me! lols.

then went to TM with sis to watch step up. the show was great. CHANNING rocks! hahas. =) made sis pay alot today. like finally. hahas.

so here i am. back home. gotta do my research on the freaking products. ><

done blogging.

-guess life is pretty back to normal. just without you.-

bored.

2006-11-28T15:11:00.000-08:00

i'm so freaking bored at home! ><

ok. woke up about 6+ by my phone. not the alarm. i dropped my phone! heartache ar.. ='( oh well. i went back to bed and slept all the way until..... crystal msg me. >< she was suppose to go out today. but she had to meet her bf. so. yeah. i decided not to go either. or i can't make it for the class bbq. lols.

i came online. and went around reading some people's blog. bored.

oh well. finally, puay came online! you know how much i miss her? hahas. i miss talking to her, crapping with her and stuff. =) no wonder people say she rocks! hahas. i totally agree. =) we had some plans for bbq. =) gee. i hope i won't go home looking like an idiot. and i won't wanna stink my room the way sis did it the other time. that smell sucks! hahas. ok. i'll have my limits. and i sweared to her i'm not doing it cause i'm sad. i'm doing it cause... erms.. i don't know. lols. =) FINALLY GOING TO SEE HER! ^^

i'm still waiting for the freaking call. and each time my phone vibrates, it's a msg. WHEN WILL I GET A PHONE CALL?! lols. ok ok. in fact i don't think i'll get the computer exhibition job. cause i know nuts about computers! mp3, it's still fine. computers?! WAY TOO COMPLICATED! lols oh well. just have to wait for tml. =(

you know. it's weird when i hear how some guys complain about their girlfriends. and i'll think of them as bitches. yet, sometimes, girls complain about their boyfriends, and they classify them as jerks. so in the world of bgr, jerks doesn't exist alone. in fact jerks and bitches exist together. lol. ok, i admit i'm kinda of a bitch. but who cares. i don't think any one will bother right? hahas. i'll cut the crap.

wow. mummy is good suddenly. ok. i'm going out soon to watch happy feet i think. at TM. ^^ god. sh, think you are not the only one fated with happy feet. =P

GOD!! LET ME GET MY JOB!

done blogging.

-your answer seems obvious-

tired.

2006-11-27T20:30:00.000-08:00

GOD! my foot hurts. AGAIN! =(

ok. met sh at 12. then went to centry to eat long john. i left half the combo 1 untouch. =x god. hahas. ok ok. then went to kelly sevices. seriously! i didn't know there were so many office buildings. and they all look almost the same. so i went to ask the security guard. and haha! kelly services was the next building. so we went there and sat down. then fill in our particulars and went off.

took bus 67 to sim lim square. the ride was damn long! i was on the verge of sleeping, so sh talk to me. hahas. the weather was so damn nice to sleep!! ok ok. so alighted. then she wanted to run under the rain. -.-" IN HEELS?! God! and i followed her. i must be mad! hahas. it was fun though, and i was praying i won't fall. I DID NOT FALL!! wow! hahs. we entered and i was freezing. i just hate cold!! >< ok. went to the shop to register. wow. i think it's a guy's environment. only saw one girl. but still, being desperate for job, i took up. i registered. now i'm hoping i'll get it. PEOPLE! RMB!! IF I GET THE JOB, COME SINGAPORE EXPO TO SUPPORT ME! thanks. ^^ just don't come on 1st. i won't be there. =P

took taxi to lido. after waiting so long to buy the tickets, we didn't get it. -.-"
so went borders. i bought a book. ^^ saw it at kino that day. and i bought it today. yeah! hahas. then took mrt to plaza sing. reach there, bought tickets. and went to watch happy feet. ^^ so cute!

seriously, i think human are doing alot of harm to little creatures!! =( poor creatures.

went home after that. God. i wasn't feeling well. =( and now, i'm having bad headache. AHH!!! DADDY!! KILL ME WILL YOU?! FREAKING TIRED OF THIS LIFE!

done blogging.

-do you miss me the way i do? or your life is better off without me? i wanna know-

wow!

2006-11-27T11:11:00.000-08:00

wow! i finally sleep so well. yaps. more than 10 hours of sleep. =)

today going to look for job. wish me luck. i seriously need a job. =x OH! look at the classified of the straits times. wow. 20 people needed to taste food. and 12 bucks an hour. like what the heck!! so freaking good can? ^^ i wanted to. but it's like all the way at woodlands. ><

done blogging.

-i'll learn to grow up and walk this path alone. =)-

boring.

2006-11-26T21:13:00.000-08:00

finally got my blogskin changed. =) finally found one that i liked. =) changed my tag board too. but too bad. now, i can't even view my freaking blog on my phone. =(

ok.

been requested to update my blog now, by my girlfriend, sze hui. yaps. guess she bored. and probably she loves reading my blog. =) yeah. my life is very interesting. =x

4E'o6-sians! there is a class bbq this friday. and i hope you all will attend, cause i freakingly miss you all alot! ok. it's at east coast park, area C, pit 15. it should start about 5+. so come early before the food are gone! and bring along 10+ bucks to pay the food. please tag me if you are going. i'll see you there. =)

great. one of my wishes came true. =) i can finally stroll along the beach. enjoy the beautiful sun set. not with anyone special, but with my potato. =) Daddy, please tell me that i'll be able to sort out my thoughts.

3 hours of sleep really doesn't do good to my mind. ='(

done blogging.

-freak!~~^{i miss you}~~-

-.-"

2006-11-26T00:17:00.000-08:00

yesterday went steamboat with crystal and xl. me and crystal left xl alone cause crystal didn't want to be left alone. so both of us went to take food. erms. they said i take very little. so xl went to take more, while me and crystal sat there. then when xl came back, and realise we didn't take the butter. =x so in the end, all three of us went to take food. steamboat was great, other than the chicken meat that i cooked all burnt. cause i forgotten that i was cooking. =x had dirty talk with them. which i don't really understand what was going on. had durian potong. while xl had the pimple potong, red bean. =x that's what he said, i was quoting it only. =x

reach home about 11+. mum didn't scold me. neither did daddy. took a bath and when i came out, everyone was asleep. so i used sis comp. that was why i was alone out in the living room. used the comp for like 20 minutes, and i decided to sleep. no point staying online when no one is talking to me. =(

i had another freaking long night. that's why i'm starting to hate night time. oh well. i was lying in bed tossing and turning for 3 hours. only manage to sleep at 3!! -.-" kept checking my phone. but no msg. =( ok ok. the time pass so freaking slow. manage to sleep. but woke up at 6!! wth. argh!

here i am. blogging. tml might be looking for job. can't stand another minute at home. it's driving me crazy. ><

done blogging.

-Daddy, tell me it's going to be over soon-

hmm.

2006-11-25T23:45:00.000-08:00

i didn't expect myself to do it. but i did. i've got no one to blame but myself. yaps. i don't like to force others, even though i know you would rather be asked to stay.

alone in the living room is a good feeling. yeah.

went for steamboat with crystal and xl. i'll rather be out than the be home thinking. yaps..

oh well. another day.

done blogging.

=(

2006-11-25T18:36:00.000-08:00

god. why is everything going wrong?! ='(

i'm sorry i made a big fuss yesterday. which sort of led us to a conclusion. i chose not to let go and i chose to change my ways. but will this relationship be better? or will things remain the way it is?

facing reality is hard. and i hate facing the fact and the truth. i hate facing the fact that i might lose you. something you might never know and something that you might never care about. cause i'm starting to feel that there is a gap between us. and that you no longer care for me any more. am i thinking too much?

i cried while recalling every single memories with you. they were special and sweet. you led me through the dark back to a place that is full of hope. you never screamed at me and quarrelled with me. you gave in to me, and tolerate all my nonsense.

you are so perfect, which make you the dream guy of every single girl. who doesn't want?

hmm.

i won't force you to stay by my side, seriously.

^{if love is all about letting go, i'll let you go. and i'll watch you silently for far.}

sleepless.

2006-11-25T10:29:00.000-08:00

wow. it's the longest night i've ever spent. ><

i went to bed about 12.30. but i just couldn't sleep. many things were occupying my mind. yes.. many. hmm. finally manage to sleep at about 2. and freakingly woke up at 5. -.-" what the heck. argh! and it's really amazing how i can sit in front of this comp looking like a zombie.

trying to look for job. hopefully there is an exhibition so i can like apply and work for only few days. but, damn, no more event crews are needed!! =( WHERE TO GET A FREAKING JOB!!!

i've decided to make my trip to MI a fruitful one and to learn what i need to. who cares if i'm going poly or not. who cares if i make it to the uni or not. seriously, i can't be bothered any more. =x

done blogging.

-damn. tears love my eyes so much. DADDY! I HATE TEARS!!!-

i still love you

tired.

2006-11-24T22:15:00.000-08:00

slept freaking well last night. woke up 6.40. saw a msg from daddy venron. think things between him and his stead are... so he msged me. and i replied freaking late. i hope things are fine now. =) although i don't know what happened.

met crystal at 11.48 when we are suppose to meet at 11.30!! hahas. ok. due to some miscommunication, we got to somerset quite late. =x hahas. ok ok. mummy and potato wore OBS shirt. crystal wore green top and cute black pants. and i wore some weirdo clothes. -.-" puay couldn't meet us on time cause she met xr.

went to cine to eat burgerking. ok ok. stop talking about my eating style. i know it's unglam. but this is me. =x hahas. then went to wisma.. ok ok. quite boring there. cause the things there are like freaking ex! then walked to far east. lols. went in to one shop. GOD! i swear i'll never go in there again. the sales girl is a damn good promoter! she asked all of us to try on clothes. and i felt like a model la. ok. only that this clothes have to buy. i wanted to buy one, but i was damn broke. so i guess i got to save up before i can get it. IT'S SO FREAKING NICE! then went around walking. hahas. not so bad la. at least my leg not as pain as wednesday. hahas.

went to scotts for a cup of drink at coffee bean. GOD! CARAMEL!! hahas PAUY!! SEE THIS!! CARAMEL!! hahas. she loved it. so do it. ^^ so walked to taka. then went to puma. tried a shirt on with potato. she bought it. hahas. it's nice. ^^

left the girls and met him at somerset. nothing much. just had dinner and walked around. went to find puay. crystal was unable to meet me to go home. so, i went home alone.

sorry for feeling sad. anyway, thanks bro, for listening to me. =)

i'm not sure what happened. something just set my mind thinking. i'm not exactly sure about what. but there is a mixed feeling. i'm confused. while walking home, i felt tears in my eyes. i don't know what was going on. i don't know what went wrong. and i don't know who to turn to. but.. ya.. i guess i'm fine now. *sigh*

done blogging.

-tell me that i made the right choice-

bored.

2006-11-23T18:23:00.000-08:00

finally, i'm home whole day.

i woke up at 3 this morning to reply a msg. hahas. then at 6+ to reply a msg and to make sure he was fine. yaps. was quite worried about him. =x ok. then was talking to venron for awhile. he asked me to get back to bed. really sounds like a daddy. hahs. so i asked him why is he up so early. guess what was the reply? "i send my girlfriend to school.." sweet right?? gosh!! i'm envious. hahas.

finally, woke up at 10+.. tried looking for event crew. so.. yaps. can't find it. ok. i'm fussy. >< then slack the entire morning. spent my day on the comp, watching tv, clearing my wardrobe, msging venron, and eating.

ok.

i'm going out tml. orchard. gonna have leg pain again!! =x with my darling potato, beloved puay, cute boon, and caring mummy. not sure if prince is going. but princess is busy. sigh.

i'm going to get myself a date. =) soon. real soon.

pig. hope you're feeling alot better. take good care of yourself. rest alot and drink plenty of water.

oh! suppose to promote someone. ok. the story goes: someone says no one likes him. so decided to promote him on my blog. ^^ this guy, he is cute, handsome, smart and well-build. he has a good character, friendly, sociable, lovely smile. not say very tall, 174 cm. he is an officer. books out every night. age 20. ok. if anyone wants, just leave me a tag. i'll pass him the msg. =P

piggy. i'll see if you dare to say no one likes you. =D

done blogging.

-can't wait to see you-

wow.

2006-11-22T21:03:00.000-08:00

wow. tired. hahas.

woke up like 10. hahas. then went online to register for first 3 months to MI. then slack about until 11.30. then i was going to be late. so i quickly prepared everything and run out of the house. without breakfast!!

hahas. and i'm the first to reach!! hahas. then wait for crystal. after that went eunos to wait for sze hui and silin. in the end, me and crystal went to city hall to meet them. why? cause that girl wanted aircon. -.-" met potato.

reach orchard le, saw jalat. hahas. then i keep moving closer and closer to him.. cause he got blocked ma. in the end, his friends all stare at me like i'm some stupid stalker. lols. anyway, it's him la. hahas. so i just said hello. went to far east to eat long john silver. hahas. then silin join us. hahas. then walk and walk lo. walk from far east to taka to heeren. hahas. sze hui bought a shirt, crystal bought a belt for her friend, i bought bubbly tea, silin bought necklace. and all of us took neoprints!! been so long since i last took. hehes. xing lun joined us too. then the girls were all saying about working before the Os result. then xing lun ask me don't listen. hahas. bought nice nice chocolate. ^^

ok ok. went home early. i'm such a good girl. =P but my freaking feet hurts la. ><

done blogging.

-gosh. addicted to your voice-

stupid.

2006-11-21T21:49:00.000-08:00

i'm freaking pissed off! leave me alone!

sians.

2006-11-21T19:03:00.000-08:00

i don't have to do things to prove or show who i really am.

went out with crystal and eve to marina square. yaps. walk around. i bought new shoes! it was only 16!! half price! hahas. love shops that are on sale. ^^ ok. then went to watch movie, flushed away! hahas. damn funny. the small boy laugh until so loud, that everyone laugh not because of the show, but because of the small boy. lols.

came home.

got nagged. can't stand it. spoil my whole freaking good mood. why the heck i can't stay out late? damn it!

i'm freaking angry now.

done blogging.

wow.

2006-11-21T11:30:00.000-08:00

went vivo with eve yesterday. yeah. walk practically the entire vivo. it's big, that i got to agree. but most of the things, i can't afford. ask me go there, is like asking me to go paragon can? ><

anyway, step into zara, mango and many more. yaps. zara and mango variety is wide. but s&k, fox, ebase and others have little variety. hahas. then met the others at 5+. went carles junior to eat. DAMN!!! BEEF FRIES!!! WOOTS! hahas. ok ok. eve shared the fries with me. and even when we share, we can't finish la. hahas.

walk around. guys wanted to watch movie, while me and eve just wanted to shop. so anyway, we got ourselves ended in bugis. eve and me went bugis street to shop. the guys went ezone. -.-" anyway, eve bought 2 shirts, and i bought a shirt and a cardigon. HAHAS! cool right.

went to ezone look for the rest. and guess what?? I GOT A LOT OF SWEETS TO EAT!! hahas. they were playing this stupid game la. then got a lot of sweets come out. so yeah. we shared. but i got the most. why? cause sweet is my life!! HAHAS. went MOS to sit and drink. then went home. i'm such a good girl. mummy say reach home before 11. i got home about 10.15. hahas. ^^ dum went home with me. hahas.

today, went to school collect testimonial. wow. i didn't remember handing in all my assignments on time. yet she said i did. wow. hahas. ok. the main thing now is. i'm only eligible for MI or any 3 year pre-u course. and i'm not sure if i should go. damn. if only i had work harder. hahas. anyway, jordan and xl is trying to persuade me to go. so.. yaps. see bahs. i'll talk to mum. but the decision sill lies in my hand right? sigh.

ok. i'm going out again!!! hahas. with eve and crystal. =) and others.

done blogging.

-freakingly in love with you. damn. miss you freaking much!-

tired.

2006-11-20T09:12:00.000-08:00

seriously. i'm wondering what's wrong with my mummy. she's been so nice lately. that i'm starting to love this family all over again! whee! no more fights, no more screams. just hugs and kisses. wow. nice, warm home. hahas. of course, this will be the kind of environment you want after a long day of work. right? =)

going to vivo with friends. the prefects of course. but i'll be meeting eve first. and dum is coming!! hahas. but before that, i'll go mad with eve. hahas. mum let me reach home before 11. wow!! hahas. hopefully i get to sit my cable car. ^^ but, damn, there is school tml!! ><

gee. starting to miss school already. hahas. yes! MR PAN and MR TAN! hahas. without them, life in class will be feaking boring. >< of course, my close friends. and the teachers!! I LOVE MRS LIM! hahas. she rocks. she is a dedicated teacher and she makes us love e maths. ok. other than the nagging part. >< MAN! when is our class chalet?! i want bbq~

quick quick. 23rd faster come. ^^

done blogging.

-i'm truly, madly, deeply in love with you-

P.S: i seriously think my entry is better than dum!! hahs. cause my blog has no SUX!! hahas. =x

tired.

2006-11-19T17:37:00.000-08:00

wow. you're not gonna believe this. this lazy bum actually got down to work. hahas. yeah. i finally cleared my messy room, messy cupboard and messy table. so now, everything is clear. ^^

spent my entire afternoon watching tv. thought of going out though.. but. nahs. shall stay at home. since i'll be out whole day tml. AGAIN!! i'm out shopping with my beloved PRINCESS!! hahas.

i wanna sit cable car. =x i wanna stroll along the beach. i wanna sit and gaze at the stars. but, it's all wishes and none might come true. lol.

the best place on earth is to be at the highest place, whereby you can look down and see the city. =) had that vision twice. hahas.

argh! i'm so broke. shopping tml, shopping on thursday, shopping on friday!!! when can i watch my freaking movie?!?! movie mood. movie mood. hello!!

done blogging.

-i miss you-

unexpected

2006-11-18T20:35:00.000-08:00

finally woke up late. yeah! 10+. hahas. ok. although i did replied some messages. hahas.

was supposed to meet him today. but he might not make it. so i went around asking people. hahas. wanted to ask dum. but decided not to. hahas. in the end, he can make it. so i met him. ^^

went to marina square. then to walk. went to times, i just can't find my book. =x oh well. met mins. gosh. i can't stand her. she really can make you so paiseh. >< hahas. the funniest thing is. HAHA. i'm not going to say. =P it's a secret between us. hahas. FUNNY!!!

then we head to esplanade. gosh!! PIANO!! it's been like how long since i last touch a piano without getting stupid smacks or naggings. damn. oh. the girl who gave the flower is so cute!! her eyes are big and nice. I WANT A DAUGHTER NEXT TIME!! cause daughters are usually better than sons. hahas.

met dum and jalat at mrt. they were playing soccer. and saw 2 other sec 3s. gosh! aren't they suppose to study for Os? hahas. =x

done blogging.

you seem so perfect. way too perfect for me. which often makes me wonder why on earth did you choose me instead of others. it feels great to be with you. even just having you by my side without uttering a single word. =) yeahs. i'm sorry, and feeling guilty, for being late twice. and always letting you wait. and you didn't threw your anger even though you may be feeling angry deep inside. i miss you alot. and i love you too.

-my life is all about you.-

Damn

2006-11-17T21:49:00.000-08:00

gosh. I screwed up another date.. Sorry..

Chalet was great.. Yap.. It was like a hotel.. Haha.. Went to the beach and sort of sun tan. I really love the beach. Yes. When will i ever go to the beach again and stroll.. STRESS FREE!

Met him.. Can see that he wasn't happy and stuff. Sorry. It's my fault again. =( guess i'm just a bad stead..

Here i am in the train.. >< BORED! Yeah. Nothing much.

Done blogging.

-i love you. I'm sorry.-

home.

2006-11-16T19:01:00.000-08:00

i'm back home. whee. =) yeah. i still can't believe exams are over. and damn! i'm facing the screen, and i've got nothing to do! no one is talking to me. you know how boring it is?? =X

a maths was kinda bad. the first few questions were like easy. towards the end, i was struggling. and yeah. famhy is like so relieved when his subject is over and when many declared it was easy. EASY?! gosh. shows my standard in the class. ><

as for chem, mcq, out of 40, i only know i'll get 16 marks. the rest are like, not sure not sure. HOPEFULLY, miracles happen. yeah. paper 2, i was rushing for time. ahh!! but all these are over!! =D

now, i'll be afraid of the results. and i'll start crying over spilled milk. >< ahhs!

WOW!! I'M GOING VIVO CITY TML!!! DON'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR MONDAY!!! hahas. an guess what. sy treating me and jordan. cause jordan is my dar. and he told sy, no him, no me. so if he treats me, he got to treat jordan. wow! my dar is so smart at tricking seniors! hahas. and damn! they making us wait till 4+. wah lao! i want to go home watch tv? =x

sleepy. when can i catch my sleep? i'll be out everyday. afternoon till night!! MY DREAM LIFESTYLE! hahas. ok. and not forgetting, i'll try to make salad for mummy. hahas. yeah! i didn't win my salad competition for fun hor. haha. ^^

done blogging.

-love my freaking phone! where is my 10 reasons? =)-

Over

2006-11-16T17:31:00.000-08:00

and i love Puay.. My Os is over.. Haha.. And i'm blogging immediately after my Os.. Haha.. Don't jealous..

sleepy

2006-11-15T13:35:00.000-08:00

FINALLY!! tml is the BIGGEST DAY! hahas. the very minute that i end my paper, i'll blog!! hahas. woots. for the past few major exams, everyone suan me cause they don't have to come for certain days, while i have to go for all the days of the exam period. hahas. but guess what? now, i got 4 days more of holidays than them! hahas. don't jealous.

wow. it's really good talking to an old friend and recall all about the past. hahas. anyway, be glad i'm a good girl now k? hahas. i didn't know i was so playful last time. =x yeah. vernon told me that i always kicked his chair, call him papa, and do all sorts of weird stuff. GOSH! hahas. ok. at least, he didn't ignore me, despite how irritating i am. hahas. ok. then came P2 when i performed in front of the school. yes!!! AS A BUTTERFLY!! EEEW!!! one of the most EMBARRASSING moments of my life. ok.

many things planned, more dates with friends. I'VE BEEN INVITED TO JOIN FRIENDS TO VIVO CITY ON THE 20TH!! hahas. YOU KNOW HOW EXCITED I AM?! THE BIGGEST SHOPPING MALL!! THAT MEANS MORE FOOD SHOPS! MEANS MORE FOOD TO EAT!! MEANS MORE ICE CREAMS, SNACKS, SWEETS, AND WOW WOW WOW!! PLEASE DON'T DISAPPOINT ME!! lols. crap. hahas. yep. going vivo city with jordan, sy and kors. erms. that's all that i know.. maybe got more? i'm not sure.

ok. finally, i'm hoping my chocolate will turn out well. ^^

done blogging.

-i started thinking about you during my paper. and you msged me after that. WOW! just love you lots. where is my 10 reasons?? =x-

wosh~

2006-11-14T17:48:00.000-08:00

i laid in bed last night. i felt tears welling up. oh well.

it was like 2 weeks ago, when i was counting down to Os. and now, i'm counting down to end of Os. TOTALLY ROCKS!

lols. chocolate!! i'm making chocolates!! hahas. hope it'll be better than before. =) hehes.

ok. a maths paper sucks! i left an 8 mark question blank. and it is like those super easy topics can? wahs! i like not sad. ><

done blogging.

-i don't have to say a single word to tell you how much i love you-

boring.

2006-11-13T16:34:00.000-08:00

i'm already in a holiday mood. i can imagine how sians those combine science students will be when it comes to their last paper. lols. just go to school for 1 hour to do mcq. i'll be damn sian if i am one of them.

ok.

it's so cool! i can blog using my phone. hahas. means i don't have to come online. woots~!

3 more days to go.. tick tock tick tock.. ><

done blogging.

-suddenly, i feel it is just a dream. am i plain lucky to find you or is it all fated to be? sorry. i have no faith in myself.-

life.

2006-11-12T20:44:00.000-08:00

every time, when one goes into a relationship, he/she might said "i won't change myself for a relationship.".. ok. to think of it, sometimes, we change ourselves for the other party without know it ourselves. ^^

ok. did revised today. =) so i guess i'm quite a good girl. though i went out in the afternoon to buy lunch. but still, i studied right? so i'm a good girl. ^^

4 more days!! then it'll be over. wheee!!

ok. plans after Os.

17-18 Nov: out with friends.
20: either with mins and yao, or with sze hui.
21: back to school for PAE briefing.
22: either with mins and yao, or with sze hui.
23: with him.
24 & 25: with ah boi and jalat or primary school friends.
december, SATURDAYS ARE STRICTLY BOOK FOR A PERSON!! BAHS!

oh! i'm suppose to make chocolates. =x anyone wants? hahas.

lols. my primary 1 classmate took my number. hahas. ok. been a long time since i last contacted him. hahas. anyway, STOP REMEMBERING ME AS A RED FACE GIRL! ><

done blogging.

-i'm looking forward to spending every moment of my life with you-

hmm.

2006-11-11T20:29:00.000-08:00

had another bad dream last night. >< gosh. why recently i keep dreaming that i'm losing all my loved ones? ><

studied today. on off on off. nothing much. just couldn't concentrate. it's another 5 days more!! ^^

ok. everyone around me is sad. =x

done blogging.

-new phone!! AHH!!-

sigh.

2006-11-10T19:27:00.000-08:00

e maths paper 2 is over. whee! 6 days to after Os. and 6 more papers to go. woots.

sat in the hall for 2.5 hours. about 1.5 hours through the paper, i suddenly can't go on anymore. just had the urge to give up suddenly. i stared into space. and starting thinking what the heck am i doing in the damn hall. i got the urge to just throw my pens down and leave the hall. but.. i got myself to focus and wake myself up. and damn. wasted precious 15 minutes. oh well..

i'm not exactly sure what i'm thinking. all i know is that i really wanna cry out loud and hard. my heart hurts alot, but for a reason that i don't know. tell me what on earth is going on?!

hmm. i miss you alot. i can't wait to see you. i can't wait to be in your arms. to hear your heart beat. i wanna hear you whispering into my ears, telling me that you're there. my world is all about you. and it revolves around yours. can you sense it??

done blogging.

-i miss you dear-

Bad dream

2006-11-10T08:50:00.000-08:00

gosh.. Just woke up from some stupid dream..

Who doesn't long for ever lasting love? Who doesn't long for true love? But i guess, most relationships now, at our age are just puppy love.. Tell me, who ever know what love is? The word may be simple, but yet, it is complicated.. Oh well..

Few hours to e maths paper 2.. End at 5.. Sian.. But.. After this week can relax slightly a little.. =)

Gee.. Last night felt like crying hard.. =x hmm..

Done blogging.

-i wish i could leave-

hmms.

2006-11-09T17:33:00.000-08:00

gosh! i feel so bad for mistaking her as someone she is not. anyway, i just got to learn to reason why she made that decision. i just think cambridge is so unfair. just because of missing one english paper, she got to waste one year. sigh. no matter what, i'll love her. ^^

hmm. i really miss them. the fun we used to have. hope to meet up with them soon! ^^

O level has started early this week. i'm in the mids of it. yeah. not say tough, manageable. maybe will have lots of careless mistakes. ok. other than SS! hate SS. ><

i'm totally in love with my new phone!! hahas. who won't fall in love with it? lols. ok. other than that pig. who doesn't like sony ericsson. hmph! =x

done blogging.

-i'm seriously in love with you that i keep missing you-

woots

2006-11-07T20:56:00.000-08:00

i feel like i'm back in primary 6!! yeah. during PSLE, mum took leave to supervise me and to make sure i was studying. and yap! she did it again! but this time for Os. gosh. and she is making me worried. AHH!!

ok ok. back to the major topic. she brought me to TM at 3+ to get my new phone! lols. ok. i wanted black. but she told me it was too manly. and persuaded me to buy blue. no choice. i bought. super like that phone! my first FLIP PHONE!! hahas. ^^ dream come true. ^^

ehs. my snowy's head is like going to drop off any time. *hint hint* nahs. i only want my maid to buy. cause there is sentimental values!

so yap. someone is telling me my english sounds fine. GOSH! lols. kidding me, that's what i told him. lols.

done blogging.

-i love my phone-

doom

2006-11-06T18:07:00.000-08:00

ok. i think everyone is sick of my whining about SS. yeahs. especially kors. lols. been whining to him for so long. since paper end until now.

anyway, e maths is managable. SS has woken me up for my dreams. and it is time to face reality. >< DAMN!!! after the entire paper, wanted to hug puay. but that girl.. dunno where she go to. stupid.

came home. don't know to cry or what.

anyway, i'm too depressed that i decided to blog. so here i am.

was talking to many people online. dum, sh and venron. lols. yeah. been a long time since i last talked to venron. that i thought he doesn't exist anymore. yeah. my used-to-be prince charming. anyway, he told me that he found it amazing that he is actually talking to me again. lols. yeah. been 7,8 years since we last talked? and he's happy about it. lols. AHHS!! so happy to talk to him again. ok. probably because i don't wanna lose a friendship just for confessing my love? hahas. but anyway, that was so long ago.

tml no paper. then wed is english.

done blogging.

-you ended all my nightmares-

gosh.

2006-11-05T18:22:00.000-08:00

tml is like the big day. i'm not exactly excited, but i'm just scare. =S

ok ok. wish me all the best.

was sharing my past with bro. the funny part of course. yeah. i confess my love to a guy, at the age of 6. and i commented that his mum looked like a ghost, at the age of 7. his mum, of course,called me up. and i was like.. erm.... =x ok ok. then at the age of 8, he transfered out. =x hahas. he talked to me last night. but mum was chasing me out of the comp. >< so.. yap. this is the story.

anyway, to all my friends who are reading my blog and are taking Os tml, good luck for Os. i love you!!! ^^

done blogging.

-say good bye to my soul-

wow.

2006-11-04T20:46:00.000-08:00

my first crush just add me to msn. and i was laughing my head off. nothing big. but i just remember how open i was. people always think that in primary one, everyone is all young and innocent. but i guess i'm not. at that time, i really wished i had someone who love and care for me. lols. ok. cut the crap.

suddenly, i'm missing all my primary school friends. all of them changed alot in terms of looks. yeah. all prettier and more handsome. lols. guess i change the least. hahas. really hope to see them soon. =)

i'll be getting my new phone soon. ^^ you know how excited i am?? =x

2 days left to Os. and i'll be free. yeah. lots of things to do. owe many people dates. but, most saturdays are book!!! too bad. hehes. sundays are book for family. =)

i can't stop missing you or thinking of you. right now, at this point of time, i need you the most. i wanna be in your arms. i want you to tell me that you're really here for me. and that you'll always be by my side no matter what. but i guess, i can only think about it. and imagine them all.

i'm not sure what i'm doing. but i think i know but i think i don't know. so do i know or don't know? =x

ok ok. time to wish me luck. is either i make it, or i don't. and if i don't. forget about seeing me ever.

done blogging.

-i love you so much that i miss you so much that i want you so much-

sigh

2006-11-03T22:00:00.000-08:00

went to school for consultation. bio consultation was great. at least now, i finally know what's going on. and i'm really glad to have such a good and wonderful teacher!! lols.

seriously. she's quite cute and blur. lols. she actually called her mother in law auntie, until her mum nudge her, then she called auntie mama. lols. but anyway, can see that she really can't believe that she's married to her love one. lols. she cried when taking vow? wow! so cool right? wedding is the most interesting thing. ^^

went kfc with sy, jordan, and bro. damn funny. i was playing bro's psp. next time really cannot drive. i keep on crashing. =x then i made alot of noise while playing. hahas. funniest thing was, i was playing in the mrt, then i lost my balance and step on a lady's feet. and three of them had to hold on to me. and make sure i don't lose my balance again. lols. =x i like small kid can?? =x

just 13 more days, and i'll be as free as a bird. =)

sometimes, i'm not trying to hide anything. i just don't know how to express it out. i guess many things happen for a reason. hmms. every time when i'm alone. i'll think of the time with you. i miss you.

done blogging.

-i wish something sweet happen.-

hmm.

2006-11-03T04:42:00.000-08:00

i hate to think what lies ahead. or probabbly i'm just thinking too much. seriously, does forever really exist??

just woke up from a nightmare. i'm not sure if it will happens in reality, but i'm crossing my fingers tight and praying hard that i won't? who loves nightmares to happen in reality? no one.

just 2 days to Os. probably this is my last entry. hopefully no. =x i'm just addicted to computers. >< damns.

i'm not confident in getting my As or Bs. but i'll try my best. not going to let anyone down this time. especially not myself. didn't make it for psle, i shall make my dreams come true this Os. i must and i will.

no more temptations. no more distractions. i just wanna concentrate. please. this is my last chance.

haven't seen puay for a long time. starting to miss her. =( miss her naggings. =x

done blogging.

-i'm just living in a world of lies. is this the real world?-

sad.

2006-11-02T17:19:00.000-08:00

ok ok. tried to wake up early today. but i kept snoozing my alarm. and that's it. i slept through the night and ended up waking up at 9. ><

went to school, hoping i could meet my SS teacher. somehow, couldn't find her. only manage to see her when she was leaving. so had to rush to finish my assignment to hand in to her. and got to go back school tml. sians.

went for tuition at bedok. journey was quite long. anyway, been a long time since i last took a bus. well. many things went through my mind. which kinda affect my mood. sorry buddy. didn't meant to pms you.

oh well. tuition was kinda boring too. probably because i didn't do my work. lols.

it was drizzling after tuition. yeah. love the rain. =) took bus back to bedok interchange. the bus route was familiar. but the feeling was different from the one i had before. the last time, i travel this route feeling sad because of certain things. now, i travel this route feeling kinda happy?

damn. i'm desperate to go rockapella. i'm like so in love with them. sians.

a part of me is feeling sad. but i don't know why. hmms.

happy birthday sotong!

done blogging.

-my life is all about you-

damn.

2006-11-01T18:37:00.000-08:00

seriously. i have no idea what i'm doing. i hate memorising all the stuff. i don't mind if my mind works like a comp. at least, i can copy and paste. but this brain of mine, just can't rmb stuff. -.-" my mind is saturated!!

slept through my afternoon. woke up, the rain just stopped. how long have i not gone out there and walk under the rain? i miss walking in the rain. it washes all my tears away. =) i love the rain!! ^^ the most romantic weather? probably. but most shows, show couples breaking up during wet weather. like wth. spoil people's impression of the rain. =x

i just can't concentrate. my entire mind is filled with you. hmms.

done blogging.

-stupid life of mine-

gosh.

2006-11-01T04:50:00.000-08:00

yeah. i'm awake. out here in the living room studying. and listening to canon in d from youtube. lols. i got the link from someone's blog and the tagboard. =x

i hate it when i'm listening to canon in d.. i'll feel emo and then tears will start forming. probably it's really nice and i'm too happy to hear it.. the other possiblity is really... lols. ok ok.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=2xjJXT0C0X4=> rock version.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8Io3oIJsZE=>choir and orchestra.

damn. just realise i'm left with 5 days to study. ><

done blogging.

-i'm seriously in love with you. in a world of our own.-

cool.

2006-10-31T18:22:00.000-08:00

wow. today's pract is like the easiest among all three sciences la. lols. except that i have abit of colour blindness. damn. should have report that i'm colour blind. lols. seriously. why does pale yellow looks like pale green? ><

ok ok. went to far east to buy nail pen as well as sis present. lols. then went ps to buy the base coat for the nail. finally, head off to suntec to buy the cake!! i'm so broke la. spent all 130 bucks. >< i'm so dead. =x

took shuttle bus to city hall. on the way back, pass by esplanade. man. i just realise i have lots of sweet memories in and around esplanade.

ok ok. there was once, vjc choir concert ended, so i went home alone. on my way, to the mrt, i was msging someone. lols. ok. sorry to that person for waiting for me so long and i didn't meet him. lols. i saw him, but didn't greet him. hahas. then the sitting area outside esplanade. erms. yap. i sit there with him through the evening. though i didn't say much, i really miss that moment. yeah. still got alot. somehow, i really felt quite emo there. and my friend was like, "oi! what you thinking?".. lols.

so here i am, at home. broke yet alive, kicking. just got nagged by my maid for not studying. bet ah boi sure laugh de. "who will be afraid of their maids?" yes, me. i'm afraid. in fact all the women in my house are scary! well, except for my daddy, the only guy. he's quiet and hardly talk to anyone.

done blogging.

-every memory is a unique one. it happens once, never twice.-

sians.

2006-10-30T22:30:00.000-08:00

the scariest practical is tml. chem!! ahs!! lols. anyway, i'm having stiff neck. and it's killing me. practically have to move my entire body just to turn my head. like not irritating??

tml is sis birthday. there's many places to go. so.. yaps. busy day!! gotta rush from school. lols.

i'm seriously wondering what's up with me. i'm either hearing wrong things or i'll be thinking more that what i should think. lols. ok. i'm not going to elaborate on the joke. or i'll change the impression of myself on everyone. so nope. i'll keep my mouth shut.

hmms. stupid kor nagging at me. not puay, then kor. -.-" sians. fahmy de hou dai. "i insist you to study before you sleep.." lols. kor. i love you. lols.

you made me feel as if you were going to leave me. probably i was thinking too much. =x i'm not use to a life without you. really. i feel as if a part of me is missing. i miss you alot. miss you way too much that even words can't describe.

ok.

done blogging.

-i wanna spend those time with you-

woots

2006-10-30T06:05:00.000-08:00

it's like 6 now. lols. quite early. i feel as if i'm preparing for my streaming. lols. yaps. woke up early every morning to study for streaming, when i was in sec 2. wow. suddenly, it's time to prepare for Os. lols. time flies.

my flu is currently trying to kill me. ><

today is chinese Os. good luck to those who are taking. better score a b3 or better. before i smack you. lols.

ok ok.

done blogging.

-it's really not the same anymore.-

bored.

2006-10-29T18:14:00.000-08:00

god! i stayed up till 3+ a.m. lols. erms. sick now. feeling terrible.

=x

2006-10-29T00:53:00.000-07:00

suddenly, i am so afraid of losing you.

=]

2006-10-28T09:53:00.000-07:00

slept at 4.10 a.m this morning. and i'm awake now. woke up about 7.40. it's like less than 4 hours can?? i want my sleep!! =x kor tried to pei me up, but he fell asleep at 2. lols.

right now, i'm blogging. just to say that i miss you alot. more than usual.

damn. i'm feeling freaking down.

sleepy. ><

done blogging.

-i wish Os is over.-

damn

2006-10-28T01:56:00.000-07:00

i'm so going to hate people who goes clubbing. PLEASE KNOW YOUR LIMITS AND DON'T CAUSE UNNECESSARY TROUBLES FOR OTHERS!

you ought to thank her for caring so much for you after how you treated her. and for God's sake, she isn't your slave. she has feelings.

discipline yourself please.

gosh!

2006-10-27T23:06:00.000-07:00

this morning, had a hard time waking up. until my stupid sis played a joke on me. i was sleeping so soundly, until she started "mei...~" i thought why early in the morning got ghost. scare me.

got up, started my revision. about 12+, met ah boi to study. walk from library to mac, to bk, to kfc, back to bk. lols. met sotong and xl. then started studying. my god! he study not even 45 minutes, he started complaining he has headache. -.-"

2.30, i went for tuition. before i left, i told him that he better finish the paper before i come back. lols. so when i came back, he really finish. my god! so guai. lols. anyway, there's this bunch of bimbos, they were like talking about sotong la. so wanted to slap them can? they look super old, trying to act mature, and they smoke! bimbos! lols. study with ah boi, kor, alex and eve.

my tuition mates came. then the cute guy was there. so i point to sotong la. and the rest saw. so they were like shouting cute guy!! i was damn paiseh can? >< worse is that he is my tuition classmate. ><

then left for pastamania with xl and sotong.

i sat with sotong and xl. and i barely touch my pasta. and i started complaining that i'm full. lols. so xl bribe me. he told me that if i finish 10 fusilli, i'll get 10 cents. so i finish 20+ fusilli and 10+ chicken. ^^ man. i still feel like a kid. hehes.

went for tuition. and it's quite boring. oh. and that guy actually ask if i was at bk la. i was like... ya.. =x lols.

i'm not exactly sure what i'm thinking. to believe or not? damn. hate to think! ><

done blogging.

-i love you-

my gosh!

2006-10-27T04:43:00.000-07:00

wow! i'm online! it's like 3.43 a.m. i sort of force myself up to study. yeah. serious work. =x tata

seh.

2006-10-26T15:16:00.000-07:00

i'm not sure what's in my head now.

a part of me wish to study. while the other wants to play. like what the heck? can i like split myself into 2 so that i can study and play at the same time?? or maybe teachers should create a game that can play and study at the same time. lols.

physics pract. like what the hell?! miss many things. like i didn't describe how to do the experiment. i didn't write the time in 1 decimal place. and my freaking graph gradient is out of the freaking range la. damn it! wah lao. i'm going to hate pract la. SO HATE PRACTICAL!!! and that stupid lens! wah lao. i look at it until i'm freaking blur lo. and glenn laugh at me. cause i bend down until my face turn red. what a stupid experiment!! argh!

no laughing matter. it's really time to get down to serious work. if anyone catch me slacking, come up to me. then slap. i won't hate you. lols. i'll just shout back. but you can shout back too, and ask me to wake up from my freaking dream. yaps. no more dreams. forget about being a tai tai, too early to think about it now!! forget about being such rich business women, won't happen!!! forget about playing, i'll have all the time in the world after Os!! just another 21 days, 1260 hours or less, 75600 minutes or less. and it's all over. OVER!!

shit. headache.

don't come near me. horrible AP today!!

done blogging.

-no more temptations. CHIONG AR!!!-

P.S: thanks puay. really thank you. alot!

sick.

2006-10-25T19:34:00.000-07:00

i'm really tired of everything. i'm just not in the mood to do anything. don't talk about studies. do i look as if i give a damn that the Os is in like 12 days? i'm just not in the mood!

woke up about 9+. skip one lesson in the morning. anyway, went for bio. had a hard time keeping my eyes open. but anyway, manage to. went home almost immediately after the lesson.

slept through my afternoon. still not in the mood to study. damn it!! *argh*

physics pract tml. i'm really praying hard i can do it. bio pract was sort of a goner. just hope physics and chem won't. i'm really depending on this two sciences.

i'm going crazy. i seriously wanna study. but my damn mood is gone. GOD DAMN IT! puay is nagging. ><

i'm not prepared for Os. not at all. =(

i'm so dead.

done blogging.

-why does life got to be like this?-

wow.

2006-10-24T21:55:00.000-07:00

didn't study at all today. wasn't in the mood. ><

woke up like super late today. bro was kind enough to msg me at 6 although i asked him not to. anyway, i still woke up late la. lols.

i was trying hard to focus on my studies the entire day. but, i just can't. can't wait for 16 november can? >< shit. can anyone stress me and push me to study?? I WANNA STUDY!!! ><

aloy talk to me yesterday. yaps. know him for 12 years. just like twinnie and boy boy. lols. three of us used to be closed. but not now. lols. anyway, he told me something. and i was laughing my head off. lols.

hmms. i'm not sure what's going on in my mind now. the feeling is just weird. i hate this feeling. i hate crying for no reason. i hate crying to bed. i hate it when i wanna cry and i have no one to turn to. i hate being on this earth. i hate living this freaking life of mine. so what if people thinks it's perfect. so what if people think i have a perfect family? what's the point of having all these when i don't even feel any love when i need it. ^damn!

i wanna go to the beach. i wanna shout it out. i wanna cry everything out. i wanna be that bubbly and cheerful girl. it's just not me now. ><

done blogging.

-don't lie. you no longer care!-

hmms.

2006-10-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

i've decided. i'll ignore it.

yeah

2006-10-23T16:36:00.000-07:00

ok ok. woke up early to head to school. nothing much happen actually.

wow! i pass my a maths test! score a2. i'm like freaking happy can? lols. hopefully our a maths test paper would be equally easy as this. lol. HOPEFULLY!

sometimes, it's not good to be curious all the time. the truth always hurts. no matter how strong you are, when the truth comes, you might not even take it.

should i just ignore the truth and live what life is now? or should i take the thing seriously and change this life of mine? will i miss it? or will i forget about it? tell me.

another special day. but nothing much.

done blogging.

-i'll miss it alot-

damn

2006-10-22T22:12:00.000-07:00

ok. i seriously think people should hate break ups. and if you wanna break up with you stead, write a compo about break up first before you break up, will you?

stupid compo. i think i rewrite 5 times, i'm still not satisfy with it. bloody shit! can't think of a proper way of ending a relationship. lols. ok. i usually end it with "we should break up." but this stupid compo, must have the word "goodbye". huhs? like what the hell? lols.

went out to buy pens to prepare for Os. wow. like in another 2 weeks time. really hope i'll do well. and i WON'T and MUST NOT let anything affect me. i'm not going to ruin this life. NEVER! quarrel all you want, scream at me for all i care. i'm not going to let it affect me. NO!!!! ><

went hospital to visit my aunt. she hurt her wrist. and somehow it became very serious. hmms. anyway, they were discussing about going Bali. wow!! lols. somewhere in december?? woots. guess i'll only start working in jan. oh ya! they say i look different. lols. i grown prettier and more feminine. i was like "really?". lols. i think they haven't seen me for so long. oh well.

hmms. am i someone nice to cheat? or am i just being dumb?

done blogging.

-get lost you big fat liars.-

bored.

2006-10-21T22:30:00.000-07:00

ok. i'm quite lazy to blog suddenly. but i'll give a short entry.

woke up like super late. then started studying. slept for 1 hour. bro wake me up. lols. then started studying again. wow. so guai right? but don't know if the stuff i study stored in my brain ma. ><

i'm writing a compo, "saying goodbye". hope it'll be good. ^^

done blogging.

-shit! time flies-

eew.

2006-10-20T23:10:00.000-07:00

went for tuition. had western food for dinner! woots. cheap and delicious. ^^ finally manage to finish all my food la. ok. other then the burnt fries and the salad. =x poor buddy.

went walking around PP. then finally found the thing i've been finding! but damn it! it's like so ex. not worth it. so. didn't buy. went to buy chocolate. then went mac to buy ice cream. ^^ anyway, i'm disgusted. ok ok. i was like watching the tv. and some how, i took notice of the couple at the counter. they were like kissing can?! wah lao. want to kiss also go somewhere more romantic la. kiss at the entrance and in front of the counter. my gosh! ><

ok. then went for tuition. went through pract. quite boring. but the VS and CCHMS guys were teasing each other. so it's like damn funny. lols.

ok.

16 days to Os. and what have i done?? damn it. no wonder people look down on me.

done blogging.

-just a useless kid-

argh.

2006-10-20T16:43:00.000-07:00

went back to school for test. wasn't in the right mood today. so, sorry guys if i sort of pms you. to kor, thanks for listening to me.

test was quite easy, hopefully can pass. =) if not, i should really think twice about turning up for the a maths paper. yap. think twice! >< if not i'll have an ugly F9 on the result slip. yucks!

seriously, why can't you encourage like others do? do i look as if i'm really a failure to you? if i am, why in the world did you bring me to this world? to make me suffer in this freaking world? or to make me feel like an idiot when all those around me are smart? you know i hate being look down at. and i was hoping you won't look down on me. but you did! you made me feel like a useless kid! you make me feel as if i can't even plan my own life that you have to plan it all for me! i feel like i'm non-existance now. totally invisible in every individual. i'm feeling inferior now. totally. yes, i know. i'm hopeless.GONE CASE!

i feeling very tired now. really tired. feel like just closing my eyes and leave this place. silently. peacefully. it must all end now.

hmm.

i've got no more tears to shed. it has all dried up. i'm completely numb. please people, forgive me for being who i am not. hate me if you want to.

done blogging.

-no longer who i used to be.-

sians

2006-10-19T22:58:00.000-07:00

today is quite a bad day. quite alot of people cry, so sort of stay back till quite late. oh well. i'm currently still consoling people and listening to their problems. yaps.

everytime, i stare into space, i'll be wondering why am i here? why am i alive? why am i living on this earth? what is my purpose? suddenly, i lost my purpose in life. i see no reason to be here. i feel as though i'm dead. i'm just a walking corpse. it's like, suddenly, everything is just an illusion. it seems so fake. so not true. why is this happening?? ><

hmms.

not in the mood.

done blogging.

-can't i just leave here for good?-

gosh!

2006-10-18T22:06:00.000-07:00

bio pract was yesterday and it was totally a disaster. ><

met qy in the morning. then went to look for form teacher for our new entry proof. i see no reason for a new one cause there's no change in mine. ok ok. only that the font size is bigger(according to qy). lols.

went to ava and was locked up for 45 minutes stuck with the el hod. lols. all our electronic devices were kept so as the avoid being barred from the exam. lols. i miss my mp3 through the entire exam la. >< lols. finally, the time is up, we left the room and report to the lab.

got to our places, and the teacher was like reading the instuctions and he keep shaking his leg. can't stand it la. >< anyway, the exam started. i don't know what i was doing la. lols. anyway, after the entire exam, xl told me that i should actually look at other's experiment if i didn't get the result. the prob is that i'm at the first bench, at the corner. like wah lao!! lols..

anyway, went home, started mugging, not hard enough though. then my mum came nagging at me. damn it.

done blogging.

-if only you were then by my side-

wow.

2006-10-16T17:49:00.000-07:00

suppose to wake up late since school starts late now. but in the end, i woke up like 4+?! i was like, damn it. >< anyway, manage to sleep back at 6+ and woke up at 7+.

went to school for physics. but the entire school was quiet. cause eoy just ended. oh well. physics was quite dull. just doing through some of the tys questions. anyway, shared the alcohol chocolates with friends. puay's face was red. so cute!! lols. then my buddy had headache after that. i was quite high. silin, sh and mae love it. lols. it's nice. bitter sweet. lols. so during lesson, i was like trying to get secrets out of buddy's mouth. lols. and that eve! die die also don't wanna lend me the tiggr!! =x that stuff toy is like so innocent la. quick! someone finish my pooh bear set! i need a piglet and tigger, medium size. lols. then i'll have a complete set. ^^ ok. my bed is flooded with toys that mum have kept many away from me. ><

stayed back for consultation. AHH!! tml's bio pract. lols. i'm nervous. i'm scare. i'm... hmms. lols. pray hard it'll be easy. ><

this morning bro msg me. cause he did something, so he slept late. i keep asking him, he keep changing topic. lols. anyway, thanks for the card, dude! and the dog keychain. lols. i think he has poor memory. either that or he was too sleepy that he couldn't rmb anything. lols. wah. first time in history, someone praise me as a good sister!! hahas. is it the first? lols. can't rmb. =x but i know many thank me for being there for them when they're down. man! am i an angel or what? ^^

anyway, eve is jealous cause i got present and she doesn't!! lols. don't jealous k? next time i make for you too lo. =P

my prefect days have ended. but i hope the joy, laughter and fun has not ended. cause i'll miss you guys!! ahhs!! =)

my cert, tie, badge, medal.

shhh.. someone is busy at work. =P
i love my puay! ^^

done blogging.

-i'm scared!-

sians.

2006-10-15T22:57:00.000-07:00

ok. today, i'm not the one who woke up on the wrong side of the bed. but it's mum. early in the morning, she was like scolding me. innocent and poor me. lols.

anyway, went to pray. helped many people pray. like my beloved friends, jia you for Os. sis, good luck for her exams. and you, hope everything turns out well. so anyway, mum went to buy flowers. and being a good girl, i helped. after that, went to buy lunch and bought granny's share. so went to give her. today, no baby. lols.

came back home, did geo. the paper needs alot of thinking k? or probably because i wasn't doing it with full concentration. =x so anyway, spent the entire afternoon doing one 25 mark question. SAS. the school sounds like proving e maths congruent triangles la. =x ok ok. shan't offend any one. ><

then came a msg. which sort of affect me. not gonna elaborate any further.

buddy was kind enough to cheer me up and he said things which... i didn't expect him to say. anyway, thanks alot. your alcohol chocolates. yap. lols.

things are much better now. =)

done blogging.

-just love you the way you are-

what a day.

2006-10-14T22:20:00.000-07:00

i think i woke up on the wrong side of the bed. really pms this morning la. >< wasn't in the mood to do anything. but still, manage to force myself to study. and even so, my face was like quite black la. lucky i didn't pick a fight with mum. *phew*

then came afternoon. was really sleep. so i took a nap and got up to do chem. ok ok. i'm starting to love chem!! lols. really. i used to hate chem cause of the stupid rate of reaction thingy. lols. ok la.

monday, school!! hahas. finally no morning assembly. need not go school in full school attire. and i get to sleep late. and get to go home early. one good thing about graduation. lols. i bet the sec 3s sure get jealous. cause i was jealous too! hahas.

ok ok. tuesday is bio O lvl pract. i'm like on the first bench la. with qy. i'm always sitting beside her. hahas. lucky it's not spa. or else, the teacher can find all my mistakes easily. lols.

ehs. can't upload any pictures today. maybe tml.

done blogging.

-the defining moment has ended-

grad

2006-10-13T08:10:00.000-07:00

finally the big day arrived. a day i've always looking forward to since sec 1, yet trying hard to avoid it when it's nearing. but life is like that. when it's time to part, we just have to. just rmb to keep in touch.

let me share my pictures with you. ^^

this is me, sis, daddy, and brother. ^^

mae, leonad, qy(tutor). they rock!

snapshot of my e maths teacher teaching. =x brilliant me ^^

i made my a maths teacher look so tall. oh ya. he didn't know i took it. =x

my dear look so cute!!

crystal, potato and meh`

first picture after i wore my tie

look who's that? bleahs.

this guy totally rock. he made lessons not boring for me cause he always crap. and he's a great guy. yes, he is shuai. shuai(1) or shuai(4)? lols.

this is the few prefects i'm close with. they rock the PB~! woots.

crappy girl. her english is freaking good! lols. fishy!^^

3 vals? nahs. it's val,mae,val. lols.

my best friend. and always will be. nana! ^^

finally presenting to you my cute brother! ^^

during the grad night, we still share the joy, laughter and still enjoyed each other's company. i've never seen my form teacher cry so much before. we just love her. =) and after so long, i finally sing my school song so loud. singing it with pride and so on and so for. lols. receive many things. yaps. and of course, i love them to the core!

4 years stay in mjr. met different teachers. of course. there are times when i really hate them cause i hate the subjects. but still, the lead me through the obstacles and always ensure that i pass my subjects. this task become difficult when it comes to upper sec. as the gap between lower sec and upper sec is huge!! lols. but with friends and teachers to help, i manage to pull through by passing all my subjects for prelim. =) many friends encouraged me and support me along the way. especially lay puay and qian ying. you guys consoled me alot last year and didn't complain how irritating it was. you guys helped me with my studies. and yaps. listen to my troubles. totally. as for seng yong and jian cong. you guys took good care of me in camps. lols. really won't forget it. =x minx, eve for crapping with me. and mae, sotong, san and sh for bringing craziness into my life. ^^ buddy. thanks for always reading my mind!! it's freaky at times. lols.

my gosh! Os is coming. so buck up people! i'm going to study hard with you guys! and i'll meet you on the 6 nov! =) jia you!

my lucky table in the PB room, a place i sit every morning ^^

my lucky class i spent for 1 year. a place where i cried, laugh, play, get scolded, and many stuff. 3E'05, 4E'06 rocks! totally. 39 of us, yet there is only one heart. ^^

done blogging.

-it's all a memory now-

thank you.

2006-10-12T03:27:00.000-07:00

finally, the special moment is arriving tml. it's time to say our good byes officially to this school after so many things that happen in this school. my life here is memorable. although mjr was my last choice, i'm glad i didn't go any where else. if not, i'll miss the opportunity of meeting such wonderful friends and great teachers. learning is a long process and, of course, my learning journey will not end here. =) before i end this entry, i'll like to thank the people that made an impact in my 4 years of stay in mjr. sorry if i didn't mention your name. but you're not forgotten, as you left your footprint in my life. =)

teachers
Mrs keh, for making me for in love with maths, thus scoring well in sec 1 & 2.
Ms tia, for making science so interesting!
Ms Yap, for being such a wonderful lower sec english teacher.
Ms Pan, for giving me the opportunity to be a leader.
Mr gui, for making my sec 2 life so fun and for helping me with physcis.
Ms tay, for being such an encouraging teacher.
Mr fahmy, for helping with improve my a maths and for being such a great teacher!
Mrs lim, for being such a cute e maths teacher.
Mdm wee, for helping me with english.
Ms quek, for being so patient with us.

friends
auntie! for teaching us shopping skills.
boon for always acting cute thus bringing joy.
buddy for always knowing what is in my mind.
claron for being giving me so little space in class to sit. hahas.
crystal for always brightening up my day with you blur-ness
eve for being such a good friend and always looking at me in class. lols.
feng yao for always crapping with me both in school and on msn.
fishy for being such a cool friend!
LAYPUAY, always there for me, never complain how irritating i was. lols.
mae for being there for me and doing pair work with me!
mummy! for teaching me and always listening to my complains.
potato for always crapping with me on msn and giving me my nick! lols.
san for always being so motherly and supervising me when i'm studying.
sheldon for all your dirty talks in sec 2. lols
sihui for singing songs in class and being such a great choir chairman.
sotong for bring joy with your blur-ness too.
sze hui for always crapping with me.
qy for always teaching me at the last minute and being so ah mah!
yankuang for bring joy to my life this entire year. you totally make lessons not bored! you rock!

prefects
alex for being my daddy!
avril for being a cool and funky junior since you're sec 1
eugene for always quarreling with me in the morning thus life doesn't seem so bored.
hang qi for being a great junior
heng yu for being a great boyfriend. hahas.
jc for being such a good senior and always looking out for me
jia wen for being the sotong in the PB
joanna for being such a good friend.
mins for always crapping with me in the morning.
sy for being a good senior and looking after me in camps. lols.
yu ren for being so cute. lols.

hope that i didn't miss out anyone. anyway, i love all of you and carry on rocking this world of mine!

P.S:don't cry tml. or should i say, don't make me cry tml. =P

done blogging.

-a special journey of my life-

sweet.

2006-10-07T22:38:00.000-07:00

really had a horrible night. the longest night i ever had can? *argh* people are getting eye bags cause they study until super late. i get eye bags cause of stupid nightmares. so unfair can?! stupid nightmares!

woke up today. did chem and studied chem. then slack a little. then did compo. it's a weird title. but a title that reminded me of what i regret in my life.

life is all about decision making. tell me, who didn't regret in their life before? i bet you did too. only that,probably, you didn't keep thinking about it. but i do. i hate myself for making such a stupid mistake. and now, i have to live in that shadow for the rest of my life. sucks!

went out today. well. it's a wonderful and pleasant night. seriously. if only there's a house in the city, i'll really buy it and stay there. the night scenery is great. just love every single moment. the scenery, the atmosphere and your companionship. =) anyway, went to a place that i've never been before. feel so sua ku. take it that i'm not a person who don't go those places la. man. too class for me le. hahas. ok. talk about the food there. the steak is nice. it doesn't taste like those that i ate before. one thing i don't like about steak is that i will have to bite it until my jaws get tired. >< and the fats!! ahh. no one help me eat can? shit. result of being pampered by my maid. lols. she loves the fats. haha. =x the potato wedge is nice. too bad. i was freaking full. >< ahhs! it's so sinful! >< waste so much food lo. wahs!! had cravings for haagen-daz ice cream actually. but then decided to keep my mouth shut. diet~! ahh!! ok. another point to note. please don't look at me when i'm eating. will be shy one lo. =x

ok.

next friday is graduation day. so yaps. i'm going to dedicate an entry for all my beloved friends and juniors. look out for your name. well, to those who i didn't write your name, you're not forgotten. cause you still did left your footprint in my life. =) this entire 4 years will not be a memoriable one without you guys, seniors and teachers. of course. many great teachers helped me along the way. P.S: i won't cry. i don't want to waste 50 bucks just for crying. lols.

it's good to see people smile. really. don't thank me. cause i really didn't do anything. =) just be happy. happiness is the best medicine to everything. ^^

ahhs! i need to go on diet soon. i want my bmi to be below 18. hahas. woots. ^^

done blogging.

-i love every single moment that i spent with you. i'm crazy about you. and i'm so in love with you-